Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Why your parents want you to have kids: And of my increasing faith in Karma and the Cycle of Life

(A standard telephonic conversation - could be any day...)
Mom: Hi Yuvika, what's happening?
Me: Hell's broken loose. (Followed by one or more of these rants:) M doesn't stay put at one place. Massages, diaper changes, everything has become an ordeal. Apart from that she is a fussy eater - she doesn't sleep too well also. I woke up so many times in the night. Oh, yesterday, she also threw her ball on my face. I think my face suffered first degree injuries...
Mom: Oh my god, stop accusing the poor baby. This is normal with children. You have no idea what all you used to do. You were worse. (Followed by one or more of these accusations:) You would pull out your soiled diaper. You used to keep acting hungry even after a full feed. You used to bang the bed so hard. You used to pull my hair.
Me: Hello, so you mean to say I had Manya so that she could avenge you?
Mom: Oho Yuvika, don't be silly. This is how it is when you have kids. You should bask in the joys of motherhood.
Me: Aah, I can smell sarcasm there. I know you are secretly delighted that finally I am getting to experience what you went through. Very bad mummy, you should not harbor feelings of revenge against your own children.
Mom: Ha ha ha (I am sure she had devils' horns flashing too). You are so funny. Okay, now I need to go pack. We are driving to Bhimtaal for a mini weekend getaway in a couple of hours - we plan to reach by evening and sip some wine as the sun goes down, behind the mountains. What are your weekend plans?
Me: Meh. Sleepless nights, soiled diapers, endless feeds, teething troubles, blah blah.
Mom: Chalo, please take care of her and don't trouble her too much. Everything will be alright and by the time you have a second one, you'll be a pro and all this will be normal routine! And you will get plenty of sleep once the children are off to college!
Me: What!!! I don't believe this!! Waah! (To myself: WTF! The cheek to mention a second child in the same breath as wine and sunsets!)

And so after atleast a trillion such exchanges, I am convinced that (barring the joy that becoming a grandparent brings - no responsibilities and lots of fun!) the big reason your parents want you to have children is because they want you to go through the miseries that they did (:P). If that was not the case, what explains the fact that no parent will ever go into details of all the compromises and the pains that parenthood brings when you don't have a kid. They'll urge you with subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints - there will be ample encouragement - visions of the infinite love, the eternal bond, the everlasting joy (which is all true) but, but hang on, they don't warn you against the infinite sleepless nights, the eternal worries, the everlasting running around. 

You know, in a perverse way, it is the cycle of life - that is continuous and, much to the pleasure of every parent, a very fair cycle. The naughty child becomes the parent to a naughtier child, while the original parent becomes the grand parent and cheers the grand child to finally close the circle. 

This brings me to my other new founded belief in karma. Unfortunately, what goes around does come around. No escaping that and no point in hoping that you can postpone the paying back to your next janam/birth. All income will be and is taxed in the same cycle. No carrying on of dues etc. So, every time you have an altercation with your parents and your mom or dad retorts saying, "you'll know when you have a child" - trust me, someone up there is recording all of that, which will be exacted with interest years later when you do have a child. Parents know that because they have been there and done that and this is something only experience can teach you. 

So, dear readers, consider this post a boon to you if you still are not married/don't have a child. You will soon realize this is the only place you get the whole story including the brutal truth :D.

(P.S.: Manya darling ignore this post for the time being, we'll see when you are on the other side :P)

Signing off with a deceptive picture - don't let the serene smiles fool you - I just gave you all the gyaan, right? ;)


  1. awwwww Prabha mam looks soooo happy :)

    And i knew i was spoiled and troubled my mom every day ..I still do so i feared that my kid is going to take the avenge for sure..I am glad you feel the same...and talk of the second child is certainly frustrating but i am sure you will have another one too..lolz..(thas spoiled me teasing you )

    1. AT this point of time, NO :). but who knows! :D

  2. All my sympathies Yuvika! I can see my sisiter's harried face in all she brought up my nephew! And is it the zillionth time that I consider myself lucky!!?? What this life entails, I will get the update from you all, and what else is there, I will live out :-P

    1. aah striking balance huh? that's a good one! :)

  3. Hahaha .. Had a heart laugh when I went through your post ..Hilarious must say ,yeah same things happening with me , my amma relishing the tantrums I had put up when I was a baby and the nautankis I did along with my bros ..So karma is biting me back here it seems eh ?

    Very good blog you have here .. Followeing you here :):)

    Sangeetha Menon

    1. Thanks Sangeetha for dropping by and following. You have a great blog too. Added it to my reading list :)

  4. HAHA! Yuvika, I can laugh with every other parent (tired and retired--who reads this. You have a beautiful way to say that this too, this, WONDERFUL THIS, too, will pass.

    Understanding, and laughing--WITH you!

    1. Thanks Steve! That support means a LOT!


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