A very sick and pukish morning, I pulled myself together with great difficulty for our 6th week ultrasound. The doctor has prescribed an early ultrasound because my HCG levels were unusually high (as per the blood test). My morning sickness was so acute that all feelings of anxiety were pushed to the periphery - I was just praying that I don't throw up during the ultrasound!
So, I lay down - the gooey stuff sprayed on my abdomen and the large screen in front of us switched on. In a minute or two, there was an unidentifiable mass of white on the black screen. "That's the baby!", the technician exclaimed. Both, Vish and I were like, "Oh, okay". We couldn't make out anything and so we didn't really jump with joy you know.
Then we heard beats - like a horse galloping. The tech asked us, "Do you know what that sound is?" We both, like eager children wanting to please the teacher, said "my/her heart beat." Haa! The tech laughed at us. She said, "That's the baby's heart - beating at 164 beats a minute".
Oh my god! We were shocked. The little bundle of cells already had a heart that beats. It was a miracle.
You might be as scientific in your outlook as you want but that first heart beat throws you off the highway. You become a believer in the miracle - the miracle of life.
For days, afterwards, I couldn't get over that heartbeat - and would often (in a very filmy style) place my hand over a much non-existent belly and think to myself - someone's living inside. :)