Monday, December 30, 2013

13 Lesser Known Facts for 13 Months of Motherhood

So, I decide to end the year on a very factual note :D. The mommy me has completed 13 months and here are some facts that unfolded along the way - most of which I had never ever gotten to know before M came to us. If you are a parent, you'll end up nodding for most of these with a brave grin; if you are a parent-to-be, you'll learn these the hard way; and if you are nowhere on the horizon, this might just as well be Ripley's Believe It or Not for you :P.

1. Every baby goes through phases that come and go but during no phase will you get a full night of quality sleep, or a day during which you don't ask yourself - atleast once - what have I gotten myself into?

2. The top 5 things on mommy's mind at any given time of the day or night are: The last time the baby fed and how much, the next time he/she needs to eat. | The times at which the baby pooped in the last 5 days and other associated grotesque details, you don't want explicitly mentioned here. | Baby's nap and sleep schedule | Baby's favorite nursery rhymes and songs | Shopping lists for the baby.

3. Your baby can mortally wound you. Ever been knocked on the nose by the baby's rock solid head; or been bitten during nursing; or been kicked in the gut at massage time?

4. If your baby takes 10 minutes to drink 5 ozs of milk, he/she will take forever to drink 6 ozs. Go figure out the formula for yourself.

5. Proud of your cheerful cherub who never ever throws a fit at the grocery store? Wait till you go there the next time with friends or family - the worst tantrum of your life awaits you. On the same lines, never ever tell your guests or hosts what your baby eats and doesn't. There's a 100% chance, he/she will do exactly the opposite.

6. Spent the better half of the night searching for baby food recipes and then preparing them painstakingly - well, watch your toddler refuse even the first spoon of it. Amazingly, he/she will lick it off the floor if it has fallen by mistake. Fallen food enhances taste. Yes.

7. You always carry your diaper bag with you - even for a short shopping trip. However, the one time you take a chance to go to the local post office without that monstrosity, there WILL be a diaper blowout.

8. Somebody will knock at the door, exactly when you place your baby in the bath tub. And your phone will ring (most probably a spam caller) at the precise moment you put your baby down for her nap.

9. Never mind that expensive step-and-play piano or those blocks that you paid a bomb for - nothing excites a child more than tupperware and ladles and cutlery from the kitchen.

10. Your baby gets up by the clock - sharp at 5 every single morning. Plan an early morning trip to cash in on her morning spirits and that very day, she'd choose to get up an hour or two later.

11. You no longer wear your favorite piece of jewelry (or any jewelry for that matter) because your toddler either puts it in his/her mouth or yanks it so hard that you'd have to rush to ER for a third degree tear. You also will not find a mom wearing a Dolce Gabbana dress with a Coach Bag and Jimmy Choo shoes. Not because all her savings got blown up in diaper expenses, but because, if everything has to anyways smell of drool and milk, and look like it's been brutally pulled in all directions, you'd rather be comfortable in your PJs and flip flops.

12. It doesn't matter what your cleanliness standards have been up until the point your toddler gets on the move. The house is never going to be "clean" again. No. Never.

13. Inspite of the countless miseries that descend on you, you surprisingly find only infinite love in your heart for that little devil who has turned your life upside down yet has the cheek to hug you and lick you with such warmth.


  1. Yuvika, ya took me back in time, but I worked nights those years and so was privy to half of those "Lesser Known Facts". Our two "best-behaved babies loved the concert hall, and performances by the world's greatest soloists. I'll never forget theirLAST to Music Hall. Rubinstein was playing Chopin THAT was the one where tantrum trumped tantrum, but once was enough!

    Thanks you for a List whichleft me with a wide smile.
    PEACE and LIGHT! 2014

    1. Aah! Kids, I tell you! Thanks a lot, Steve, for writing in. And wishing you a wonderful, joyous new year.

  2. amazing ! it seems as if all mommies share the same woes and wow !!

    1. I know! so much for saying each baby is different!

  3. amazing as always.! u had me lol at point no.7 and fr the 8th I keep my cell on silent mode most of the time these days :D

    1. Clearly, Murphy is our worst enemy!

  4. hahahahaaha!! you make me laugh yuvika! Great post! All I could think indeed was of "Murphy's law"!! :) :) Wish you, vish and M a very happy new year!!


    1. Thank you and a very happy new year to you too!! Yes, Murphy loves mommies, especially :)


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