#OrganicConversations

Me: Manya what will you have for breakfast today.
M: something organic
Me: great choice, exactly what organic. 🙄
M: maybe, organic egg.
Me: awesome, and what should I make from the organic egg 🙄🙄
M: organic omelette
Me: okay, what fruit do you want after that?
M: organic fruit
Me: 🙄🙄🙄 and what organic fruit would that be
M: Banana
Me: great
M: how do you know this is organic
Me: because it says on the label
M: who put the label?
Me: the authorities that claim it is organic
M: hmm, what is organic anyway?
Me: if you don't know what organic is, why did you ask for it
M: because I like organic
Me: ha - you are exactly like most organic consuming adults I know 😛😛😛

(P.s we are still talking about what is organic and what is not - this is opening up a whole can of worms and more!)

6 reasons M abandons her meal midway...

I am beginning to realize motherhood is the craziest job ever. I swear to god I have aged a few decades in the last few months. Here is an example post. My size zero daughter who is a very poor eater, comes up with new tactics everyday to abandon her meals. And no, it is not lack of hunger, I am sure.

Here are the top 6 reasons why my 16 month old has to get up and leave her high chair/place of eating (and ofcourse, stop eating):

• She wants a hug. I'll be approaching her with a spoon and she will scream "HUG", "HUG" - and it cannot be a sideways hug. I must remove her from her high chair, hug her nicely - and that's the end of the meal. (P.S. I am with her 24/7 and we have all the time to hug but looks like such affection is needed most at meal time.)

• She says she has done potty. A couple of spoonfuls, and she will hold her diaper and say "potty", "potty". I take her off the chair and check - and as expected, there is no poop! She squeals with joy as she knows her trick has worked for the umpteenth time!

• She feels the food is too hot for her. And before you even attempt to justify her shouting "HOT", "HOT", at every bite - let me tell you she does that even if it's yogurt!

• She wants to read a book right then. And I try to work around this, by placing the book on her tray and reading it but she squirms - she wants my full attention - no stealing spoonfuls here and there.

• She is sleepy. It doesn't matter whether it is her nap time or not or whether she is really sleepy or not. She'll start saying, "shleep, shleep", and patting herself - Her eyes will be drooping and no way will that mouth open for another bite. And voila, once out and about, the freakin' "shleep" goes out of the window!

• She is hurt. She holds some random body part - and points to one tiny area and keeps saying in a very emotional tone, "hurt, hurt". I swear, there is never ever any hurt.

At this rate, I will soon be asking for best hair dye options :( :(.

Oh my cutie, what should I feed thee?

Breast is best, they said.
But others insisted formula must be fed.

Solids after 6 months, many were sure.
Others, after 3 months, raised a furor.

And how we sorted the first foods:
Rice cereal was empty carbs;
Fruits would encourage a sweet tooth;
Veggies too tasteless for those tiny buds;
Lentils on the new plumbing would be tough.

That was not all,
Organic or not,
Boiled or steamed
Blended, mashed, or bites.
Oh no end to the sugar, salt, n honey fights.

Then the stage was set at one -
Cow's milk to be fed to the hun.
Some claimed that was unnecessary;
Vegan upbringing was the best.
Others said fresh from the cow's shed.
Pasteurized milk had no good bacteria;
Raw milk had the good AND the bad bacteria.

Good lord, I had never imagined solid feeding
Would be a constant battle I'd be fighting.

So the question is, with all these confusions - this and that
What does my lovely daughter have for meals and snack?
Well, she's made my life fairly simple -
Her highness refuses to eat at all.

She thinks meals are a waste of time,
And she'd rather toss a ball outside.
And then on some days, she's under the weather,
Or it is the infamous teething monster.
If nothing else, my doc insists,
It is the fussy toddler phase!

(No, I haven't lost my sanity yet
Though I think I am tempting fate.)

Onto regular milk now!

So, M has been weaned completely to regular cow's milk (whole fat, organic). She had been taking formula as supplement milk since month 9 (and before that primarily in her cereal), and finally she is off me and the formula. 

We weaned her over a little more than a month - one feed swapped every 7-10 days. 

How has she taken to it? Like she does to any other food offered. With a pronounced indifference - she doesn't even show, in the faintest of manner, that there has been a change. 

When I changed the first milk feed, I was all excited and expected her to show some reaction - but no - she had it with that same expression - "okay, this needs to be had otherwise this woman will be on my case the whole day." 

She does that for all other foods too - new recipes, new ingredients, new tastes - she doesn't show any excitement or refusal - there's that 'what the hell, let's get this over with' acceptance - which may actually be better than outright refusal but then the flip side is that I really don't know her "favorites"! However, I guess that is not a life threatening proposition, at this point at least :D.

My daughter ensured she got only mommy's milk!

[This post has been written as part of Mothering's 1st Annual "Blog about Breastfeeding" Event to celebrate International Breastfeeding Week Aug 1st-7th.]

At my very first prenatal appointment, my OB/GyN asked me: "Do you plan to breast feed?".

Even with a planned pregnancy, the strip turning pink is a huge surprise - with nervous excitement, my husband and I had gone in for the appointment. We were awkward, not knowing what to expect. Visions of parenthood had only included huggable cherubs and all things cute and pastel. The doctor's apparently routine question threw me off-guard. There was so much I had not even thought about. I very hesitantly replied, "If I am able to I will, as a first preference."

I spent the next nine months reading anything and everything related to breastfeeding. I attended prenatal classes where they taught the various holds and even bought books with graphics! The more I researched, the more I dreaded the idea of breastfeeding. While the benefits were undeniable - Latching problems, flow problems, stigma of public feeding - there seemed to be a thousand and more deterrents to what seemed initially the most natural maternal instinct. (Actually this makes me realize that there are so few positive stories floating around - we mostly hear about horrors - all of which maybe genuine. But, we need more feel-good stories so that new mommies know that positive experiences are just as real and common).

With unresolved conflicting emotions I went into labor. Immediately, after the big bang birth, the attending nurse asked me if I would breast-feed now. "Now? So soon? Am I ready?" With the most gentle smile ever, she placed my baby in my lap, helped me into a nursing position, and said, "The baby and you both are ready." With my heart booming thud thud, I brought Manya close to my chest and she did one of those miracles that only babies can do, she latched on and began sucking as if it was the most natural thing to do. All my worries and trepidation faded into oblivion, in seconds. I became a proud breast-feeding mommy. My daughter ensured that.

Our feisty little angel turns 9 months next week, and we are still going strong. Though M was a pro from the word go when it came to nursing, we haven't been without our share of struggle. My daughter took the meaning of on-demand feeding to a whole new level - she was a frequent nurser (still is) but in the initial months, she wanted to feed every 2 hours - day and night. To add to that she was a reflux baby, the nursing frequency went even higher on most days - then there was cluster feeding for weeks and months at stretch. 

And boy, did my daughter know what she wanted. She refused to take expressed milk from the bottle - never ever giving me the chance to give her formula for even a single feed. We were literally stuck to each other for the first 6 months - till we started off on solids. I fed her in the car in parking lots, in doctors' waiting rooms, and even in trial/changing rooms! My husband used to joke that I am our daughter's 24-hour milk bar with anytime, anywhere access. 

As if the "real" issues were not enough, there was no dearth of non-supporters, from quarters I had least expected. "Manya always looks hungry." "Do you think your milk is enough for her?" "She is so thin (hinting that maybe I should try supplementing)." "Is the reflux because of you feeding her?" "Why don't you force train her on the bottle - then you can get a break, and others can feed her." "What's the harm if a baby gets a tummy full of formula feed every once in a while?"

Thankfully, we have a doctor who is extremely supportive and advocated on-demand nursing all through. To be honest, there were times I'd fling my hands in the air in despair, order formula and bottles, and try feeding her - I'd cry in desperation when for hours together the only break I'd have would be a nature break and a glass of water. What pulled me through? My daughter. She'd not budge from my bosom when she was hungry and she refused any other form of milk - she made sure it was only mommy's milk she got - straight from the source. (Yes, this little girl had done her homework well :))

Whatever doubts and fears that would develop every now and then would melt away when I'd see my determined cherub sucking for dear life, only to take a break at regular intervals - to gaze at me -sometimes in wonder (wow, this woman always comes with the milkers), sometimes in delight (this is what I exactly needed right now), sometimes (though very rarely) in gratitude (only this can soothe me), sometimes (actually very often) in agitation (couldn't you have given this a few seconds earlier), sometimes breaking into a cheeky, gummy grin (guess what, I am not hungry, I just wanted some comfort and alone time with you), sometimes in frustration (this is not fast enough or too fast for me) - but mostly her gazes are peaceful - as she drifts into a calm slumber that only drunkenness from mommy's milk can cause!

The lesson I learnt: They are actually right when they say it's best to follow your baby cues - she knows best. I credit my breastfeeding ability to my daughter - she was forgiving with my clumsiness, she taught me, by example, patience (nursing a baby is no joke), skill, determination, how to enjoy nursing, and most importantly she taught me that absolute love is possible.

Coping with reflux...

I had briefly mentioned in an earlier post that M was on medication for reflux. We have now moved out of that phase and I am so glad. A lot of people, especially new mommies, have been asking me about my experience and here's the post.

At about 4 to 5 weeks of age, I began to notice that M was feeding (she was exclusively breast-fed) too often - sometimes every hour. (I must mention here that from birth M was the kinds to feed very frequently  - about every 2 hours - even in the nights she'd get up on her own every 2 hours to feed. The doc confirmed that some babies just do it, you can't really train them or make them not feed frequently. But the hourly feeds seemed a little too much to me.) Her evening feeds used to be painful; - she'd arch her back and scream and then go on sucking for 2-3 hours with little gap in between. Also, especially in the nights, I could almost hear her gulping down even 45 minutes after a feed. She'd get up with a weird expression on her face - something like she has a bad taste in her mouth (However, she never really spat up). Also, she would in that baby-cute way keep clearing her throat so often. We did burp her well, and tried anti-gas medication but nothing really helped. Meanwhile her hiccuping was as strong as ever - almost 20 times a day! I finally took her to the doctor at 6 weeks.

The doc diagnosed her with Laryngopharyngeal Reflux (Silent Reflux). Her pedeatrician was impressed by my instinct/observation because she said that since no spitting up happens in this kind of reflux, most parents ignore all other symptoms. Yeah, I was glad for that but it really did break my heart to have her on medication (Zantac Rx) for almost 4 months from then on. I did taste the medicine and it is yuck - alcohol mixed with mint to give the most disgusting flavor ever. The doctor also said that I would need to feed her as often as M wanted because it was soothing. M never took to the bottle and this condition of hers further discouraged me to use a bottle (more about our bottle battles in a later post) as stress at feeding only worsens reflux.

So commenced the most back breaking (quite literally) weeks ever. There was a lot of cluster feeding - a block of 4 hours in the day or night when M would want to feed every 15 minutes. I'd barely get up for water or juice or to answer nature's call and then be back on duty :). It was like she was treating me like a 24 hour milk bar. Yes, it was very frustrating but the doc gave me the confidence and encouragement to stay on it. Frequent breastfeeding is the fastest way for babies to get over reflux. The killer: even on good days, M would feed hourly for most weeks. One, the fresh feed would soothe the acidic backup and two, the medicine would digest the breast milk even faster, so she was genuinely hungry. Going out was a distant dream: I couldn't plan her feeds so I wouldn't know when she would want to feed and for how long!

Time did pass. At her 4 month checkup, the ped said she was doing well and I could start reducing the dosage. At 6 months we were off Rx! So to all the worried mommas out there, trust me it is a phase that you'll go through only once with your baby, and just when you begin to think it cannot get worse, it will get better. Take my word for it :).

Fruits and Veggies!

M had been only on cereal up until her half year mark. She has had rice and oats. While I guess both taste the same (actually, I needn't guess, I know as I did taste them ;)), I think oatmeal suits her digestive system better. She has also tasted juices of pears, apples and prunes. And now, we have started with mashed fruits and veggies. So, I guess this marks the beginning of solid feeding in a more holistic sense. I plan to start on everything else (proteins etc.) a month or so from now. According to the doc, yogurt and cheeses can wait till the 8th or the 9th month, and whole milk, citrus fruits, honey, nuts etc. till the one year mark. We will more-or-less stick to that.

Okay, so recording her first fruit and vegetable:

• First fruit: Malus domestica (lesser mortals know it as apple :P). If you are (and even if you are not) interested in the exact variety - it was the gala apple (organic) from California :D.

• First vegetable: Lagenaria siceraria. You know what this is? The boring bottle-gourd (from the squash family). For most of my life (and most Indians I know), have hated this vegetable. It is boring and one of the worst tasting ever. My brother actually thought I was making Manya pay for not letting me sleep at nights by forcing her to eat this. I swear that was not the point. My idea was, one, it is such a healthy veggie that goes so easy on the stomach, and two, whatever M tastes after this will definitely be better :P). 

Her Highness starts on cereal

As I mentioned in Manya's fourth month milestone post, the pediatrician recommended at her monthly checkup that I could start her on rice and/or oats cereal. And if you didn't already know, I could easily pass off as the poster girl for my doctors - I trust my docs implicitly and go by whatever they say. In the rare case, I am unable to place my faith in a doc, I find another one.

I am well aware of the ever changing first food trends and all the debates around "refined carbs" that make up baby cereal - also all the endless discussions on how introducing fruits or veggies is a better idea, or at what age to introduce solids etc. etc. Was I confused - well, Yes! But I was clear about one thing in my mind, I'd discuss with the doc and follow exactly what she said.

So, here's the game plan. I started her on rice cereal. In a couple of weeks, I plan to introduce oats. This will pretty much constitute her top feed till she is 6 months old. Except for the situation that she gets constipated - I then have been asked to give her diluted peach/prune/apple juice. At the half year mark, we start with fruits and vegetables - will post more when we reach there.

Meanwhile, the verdict on rice cereal. She has been tasting it without much fussing. Not sure if she likes it or not. Time shall tell how good or bad an eater the highness is.

On Demand!

So, the pediatricians recommend that babies be fed on-demand for the first several weeks. My first reaction to that: Obviously. Don't we adults also expect to be fed or rather expect to eat on-demand! 

And then I realized, life's facts are never so simple. Apparently, the average baby feeds every 2-4 hours (including night and day) for a couple of months and in some cases, especially where babies are exclusively breastfed, the feed could even be every 1 to 1.5 hrs (more in periods of growth spurts). 

Now comes the catch, my daughter takes on-demand to a whole new level. All these IP TV providers and other service providers need to really understand from her what is truly ON DEMAND! So, her highness, started a wonderful new routine towards the end of her first week. In the night, she would ask for a feed, sip for 2-3 mins, doze off again, and then get up in 45 minutes for the next snack. With the exhaustion of delivery still hitting hard and strong, I was going crazy with this kind of feeding. 

At her next pediatrician appointment, we brought this up with the doctor and she explained to us that I need to ensure the baby is wide awake for a proper active feed. So, I should always change her diaper before feeding her so that she is woken up from her slumber. Haa! I did attend my child rearing classes, you know. I was already doing that. 

Next, she told me to take off her blankets and any warm clothing. That seemed simple enough. 

And then, she said, if that failed too, I should strip her to her diaper, put a cold wet cloth over her skin and then begin feeding her. The only thought that crossed my mind was, "How brutal; only these Westerners can be so harsh on the poor baby" (ouch, I didn't mean to be racist, but oh, well!). With a firm resolve not to ever do it to MY child, I left the clinic.

And then night fell again. Our Madame, started her assault. Soon, she was sipping 2-3 minutes every 30 minutes. I not only looked like a zombie but felt like one too. Removing her warm clothing, didn't do any good. 

As the darkness grew, so faded my strong resolve. It was 2 degrees (C) outside (inside about 20 C) - the doc's last option suddenly didn't seem so brutal. So with a guilt ridden heart, I attempted the cruelest thing ever - After she was done with her 2 min sucking, I stripped Manya to her diaper, rubbed a cold wet cloth over her (my spine shuddered and I must have apologized to her more than a 100 times). 

Lo, behold, she flung her eyes open - bright and wide. Wow, I said, it worked, and then I began feeding her. What she did after that will remain as a lesson with me forever. Manya clenched her lips so tight that nothing and no one could coax her to open her mouth for the feed. She kept awake and she did not feed. Period. She got up in another 30 minutes. Fed for 2 minutes. I tried my wet cloth only once more. She refused to feed till the next 30 minutes. 

And thus, I learnt two things: One, the true meaning of on-demand. And two, when you force your way through things in desperation, nothing will work the way you want :(.

Epilogue: She settled down into a lot easier schedule, soon after - a feed every two hours. I promise you it had nothing to do with my cold treatment though. She is back to hourly feeds lately, but only because of her reflux problem, which I hope resolves soon with the medication she is taking. Till then, fingers crossed (and recommendations for good under eye cream would be highly appreciated :P).