Happy 8th, my sweetheart!

You have been calling 6th November as Manya Day since forever now. Works for us except that every day other than 6th has also become Manya Day for us ;).

I love how excited you get about your birthdays - I still do at my age. A party or not - we have the complete paraphernalia - balloons, flowers, decorations, cake, wrapped presents, handwritten cards - May you always find it in your heart to celebrate yourself and may you always be surrounded by people who love you and want to celebrate you for the amazing person you are. May you be worthy of their adulation and pride, always.

This time around your enthusiasm for your birthday was matched with the election fever that has caught you strong. When I look at you today, I cannot see the tiny baby we were blessed with 8 years ago - even though you did take over our lives like a storm even back then - there's so much more force and vitality to you. You are confident, strong, brave, and you move with a whirlwind pace. As you flit from one interest to another, one conversation to another, hurrying about - I want to just hold you and let time stand still. But that's the nature of time - it doesn't stop - it keeps flowing. 

I admire that you are a person who embraces varied interests and pursuits. You play with your dolls but also run amuck and go digging in the dirt and mud. You enjoy your girly giggles and gossips and can also talk politics and business when you need to. You pick a sewing needle with as much ease as a bleybade or a drone. You like your electronic gadgets but find time for your sketching pencils and paints and colors and paper and books too. Always remain like this - embrace all that you see and want - don't shut out worlds without experiencing them. There's always a fun adventure on the other side of everything. And most importantly - balance - it seems like an impossible concept to explain but I know you can feel it. Always remain connected to that voice. 

"Halfway to Sweet 16, Mom!" That is what you exclaimed today (after ofcourse asking who did Nevada go to!). It took me a while to even respond to that. How can that be right? 

My, you are 8! So do we say goodbye to the Sassy Sevens now? I asked you, in the spirit of alliteration, what would go with 8. "That's easy mom", you said. "Electrifying 8!" "Exquisite 8!" - Umm not exactly what I had in mind but well okay - that then till I find something more appropriate :p

We love you!!!

You are 7!

And you are on a roll!

Oh my god, Manya - you are 7. You are such a big girl now. I am thoroughly enjoying all our grown up conversations these days - errm - well mostly - I still shout back because I said so quite a few times don't I - when I know you want to know the inside and out of every why that could be possible. Well patience has not been my virtue and not really the greatest of your strengths either...;)

You know I have begun to imagine you reading these letters when you are all grown up and imagining your reactions to them. I hope I get to see you reading these at different points in your life. And I hope that each time you read them you recall the tender and the furious moments we have shared with love in your heart and joy in your soul. You are so loved - We are proud to have such an intelligent, caring, kind, (and sassy) but mostly very adorable daughter like you.

You wanted a rainbow themed birthday this year - and I think that is totally befitting! May you shine bright with all your colors, always.

I recently read this poem by Neil Gaiman and boy, could I have put in words better all the prayers and wishes that we have for you. So this one is for you my love. Happy 7th. Happy Every Day.

BLUEBERRY GIRL

by Neil Gaiman

Ladies of Light & Ladies of Darkness,
& Ladies of Never-You-Mind,
this is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl.
First, May you ladies be kind.

Keep her from spindles and sleeps at sixteen;
Let her stay waking and wise.
Nightmares at three, or bad husbands at thirty;
These will not trouble her eyes.

Dull days at forty, false friends at fifteen;
Let her have brave days and truth.
Let her go places that we’ve never been;
Trust and delight in her youth.

Ladies of Grace, and Ladies of Favour,
and Ladies of Merciful Night,
this is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl,
Grant her your clearness of sight.

Words can be worrisome, people complex;
Motives and manners unclear.
Grant her the wisdom to choose her path right,
Free from unkindness and fear.

Let her tell stories, and dance in the rain,
Somersault, tumble, and run;
Her joys must be high as her sorrows are deep,
Let her grow like a weed in the sun.

Ladies of Paradox, Ladies of Measure,
Ladies of Shadows-That-Fall;
this is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl,
Words written clear on a wall.

Help her to help herself, help her to stand,
Help her to lose, and to find.
Teach her we’re only as big as our dreams,
show her that fortune is blind.

Truth is a thing she must find for herself,
precious, and rare as a pearl;
Give her all these, and a little bit more,
Gifts for a Blueberry Girl.

Happy 6th!

Oh my dear lord! Manya, you are 6. Like you yourself put it really bluntly the other day you are not cute or baby or sweet anymore. 

You are a wildfire, a beautiful blossoming flower, a fast flowing river. The sassier you are getting, the harder my prayers get. We want you to have all the happiness that you desire and then some more. This year has been a big transition for you. We moved from Portland to Seattle. You moved from the snug preschool to the public elementary school where you started Kindergarten - all excited and ready to take on the world. 

In you, I see a very pragmatic person who is often overridden by the many emotions that ebb in her heart - and I might find it exhausting because one minute it seems like you are so mature, understanding everything and then the very next second you are this moody whiny baby like any six year old - but I guess that's how it should be. I have to keep reminding myself that inspite of your spitfire attitude and humongous vocabulary, you are my little baby. 

Today is a day to celebrate you. And it doesn't get old - the joy of preparing for your big. Your enthusiastic anticipation - you want to be surprised but "in a good way" Ha ha ha! Oh dear!

This year is special because nana nani are here to add their frosting of love over everything. You were not sure about a party with your friends and so we let it be this year. Though school was fun - with you wearing your royal dress and the cupcakes for everyone - you got to be the star of the week!

Now a days we are having a lot of conversation around what is really important - experiences, relationships and not necessarily things, objects, toys. We are talking about "real" happiness. I know it's hard especially because no joy can be greater than getting an american girl doll that looks just like you at 6! But I hope that someday the message goes deeper and stay with you. As you enjoy your presents, I hope that you will be able to look back at these days for their unconditional love and warmth, and celebration of you.

Oh the places you'll go!

Dearest Manya,

Happy 5th Birthday. High five. Really. You are five. I'll never grow tired but I'll definitely grow old exclaiming how time flies! And you are definitely growing sassier by the day.

You got a birthday card from one of your best friends that said why be a queen when you can be a goddess. Oh my god! That totally describes your attitude these days! Strong willed, you almost always know what you really want. While the defiant streak does put mommy and daddy on the simmering pot every now and then, you also possess the uncanny knack to diffuse a situation. And ofcourse that you are adorably cute does help your case!

Your biggest strength is your very plesant personality - you respect others' feelings, are mindful of your words and sensitive to your environment. I pray to god that that never ever changes. This is going to be your biggest asset always.

We are so blessed to have you in our lives - you fill it with infinite craziness but also with eternal joy. Mommy and daddy love you the best!

Happy Fourth Birthday, my love!

Oh my heart,

You are four - you are also going on 16, from the likes of it :). I am really not kidding. There are one too many moments when you say or do something that is so mature in a nice way, and then something that's totally brash and impudent in a teenage kind of way. Though, to be fair, for the most part, you are a very pleasant, well behaved darling and an absolute delight to be with. Your infrequent but stormy tantrums are usually reserved for mommy dearest - and I think we both understand and have learnt to navigate around the tough love that flows between us.

Your growing independence - not just in choosing your PJs and hair do's and accessories, but also in your thoughts fills us with seamless pride and a seemingly nagging insecurity at the same time. You are compassionate, sensitive, loving, intelligent but you are also too trusting, naive in the ways of the world and emotional - you wear your heart on your sleeve - I feel like constructing a barbed wire fence around you to keep away all the hurt that growing up brings. I like to believe I am that practical level headed mom who'll give you a hand when you fall, but I really wish I was the mom that would just prevent any and every fall. The fact that that is not possible aches my heart ever so often. I am very confident that you will grow stronger and tougher and better with every rough moment in life but as a parent my heart will break every time. 

On your fourth birthday, I wish that the spunk and zest for life that you have now, the empathy you show on your own accord, the absolute love that we share and the kindness in your heart - remains untainted as the years go by. We can never express how much we love you!

One...Two...Three

Oh goodness gracious, SHE is THREE!

Our spunky bundle of sunshine turns three and we are so overwhelmed! 

Dear Love,

You are three and you are so excited - I think this is your first birthday that you are really conscious and aware of what the day means - you have demanded a party, presents, trips, decorations and what not and you are so happy to tell everyone that you are three. You have told us to look for a school now - Yes Ma'am!

Mommy and daddy wish you a lifetime of happiness and joy - may the sunshine that you bring into our lives bring warmth to yours too - every single day.

I don't recall many days wherein you have not amazed us with your fantastic vocabulary and that toddler-teenage attitude that is not all that cute all the time :D. You are smart and spunky, and we know you are going to go places (Never mind that you didn't think much of Dr. Seuss' book :P on the subject.)

There's lots to look forward int his year - you'll join a preschool, you'll be more independent, you'll have more thought and opinions that are truly yours and will give us an insight into your personality, you'll learn more skills - motor, gross,and what not. Going by most dictionaries on babies, you are not even a toddler anymore but a preschooler - change of status - promotion of sorts!

As you turn three, so does the mommy me. I feel like a pro sometimes and sometimes I feel like I have still not figured out the mommy thing - You know, I am not the most patient mom, and that is the major reason for almost all the unrest that we have between the two of us - you are learning to work around it though - a quick summon in the sweetest of voices reminding mommy that talking nicely helps more in the middle of a shouting match is sure to drown mommy in guilt for the rest of the day atleast - oh aren't you cute (and very very bratty)!

As we celebrate your day and you, we honestly believe that you are really the best thing that happened to us. We love you - to the moon and back. 

Welcome to the terrible twos, my love!

Dearest Manya,

So you are two - gosh, already! The tyrant that you have become, it is absolutely impossible for us to now imagine you as that cutest little pink bundle we got from the hospital two years ago!

And my my, what strides from your first birthday too - from gummy grins to toothy smiles; from an unstable hurtle to confident long marches; and from those almost-indecipherable babbles to long, complicated yet meaningful sentences that leaves us open-mouthed every single day!

What has not changed and remains essentially you is the bright cheer you bring to our mornings, the maddening rush and craziness you bring to our daily routines, the laughter and play you bring to our evenings, and the gentle soothing warmth you bring to our nights.

I feel like the typical filmy mom, as I add another candle to your cake and wonder at the lightning speed you are growing up - each day you become a little more independent, and tug at our hearts a little more tightly. But, don't worry, however, bollywoodish I may get at this motherhood thing, you know quite well how you drive me up the wall about a trillion times a day - running after you at nap times, convincing you to take in just one more morsel of food or sip of milk at mealtimes, convincing you that the mall is not available for shopping every single time "Manya wants", begging you to not put things in your nose or mouth at the first available opportunity, and finally what feeling like playing KBC/Who Wants to be a Millionaire - answering questions all day, "Who is that? What is that? Where is so and so? Why is it impossible? When will the market open? What is Manya doing? and the most dreaded of it all, "What is inside Manya's nose/mouth?".

And as I see you calmly smiling back at me through my (self imposed?) insanity, I know you are telling me, this gets worse. Terrible Twos, they say? Can it get worse, I think. My heart sinks a wee bit lower - ha ha ha! Okay, have I more than made up for all that sentimentality?

Oh darling, but mommy and daddy really love you - 'soooo much', as you yourself put it, and this world is a much much better place only because we have you to share it with.

Leaving you with these words from a lovely song...

"i'd like to show you a million things
i'd like to make the world for you a better place
but when it pours, it really rains, so
put on your boots, and let's play

it's a long long way to go now
i'll be there if you call
it's a long long way to go now
i'll be there if you call"

Happy Birthday, our little trooper!

[PS; Those wondering why this blog has been so quiet these past months, it is because mommy and daughter are holidaying in India and even though there are so many tales to be told, we are just not getting the time. We promise to be back with more :)]

Happy First Birthday, Our Little Tiger!

Dearest Manya,

You turn 1 today. Just like that a whole year has flown by. You are no longer the tiny, little, helpless-yet-the-cutest bundle we got at the hospital. You are assertive, you are wild, you are loving, you are ferocious, you are a cute pup and a terrifying tiger at the same time. The yummy little cupcake that you are and then how you transform to a sizzling fire cracker. Mommy and daddy have a handful for many years to come - but you know what makes it all worthwhile - your warm cuddles, your drooly licks for kisses, and the bewitching smiles that reach your eyes.

I can't help being the typical mom who tears up at the thought of her child growing up so fast. Having a baby is having your heart walk outside your body. I never valued the truth of that statement till I had you. You are a heart-breaker :). With those invisible devil's horns flashing, when you go diving down from heights, and rush after stink bugs and lady birds only to put them in your mouth, and twist mommy's and daddy's noses and ears in all sorts of directions, and kick us in our guts till we are screaming in pain, you ensure that our hearts are in our mouths - all the time. This one year was packed with more action than we had been forewarned :D. 

We have had our rough patches too, haven't we? You have had days that were down there and then I made them worse by getting upset. Mommy's got to be more patient - she is learning - ever so slowly. If we compare our learning curves, you are up there, and I am ashamed to look at my progress. I hope we get to improving that in the coming years.

However, keeping those resolutions in mind, today is a day for lot of blessed celebration and just like you have painted every day this past year in your own special vibrant colors, we hope and pray that you always have the honor and privilege of seeing and experiencing all the colors this beautiful life has to offer you. In the midst of the piquant crimsons, blistering sapphires, sunshine yellows, verdant greens, pastel pinks, there will also be seemingly dark grays and blacks - I'd wish to filter each hue that touches you but I sadly understand that is not even a distant reality. It is not possible nor would you like it :).
So, it is upto you to choose how you use each one to paint your canvas - make it unique, fill it with joy, love, and peace, and always ensure it remains a source of pride and inspiration for you and everybody else around. But, never forget, no matter what the colors, you will always be the rainbow of our lives!

Love you to bits!

For My Daughter

Every once in a while you come across a poem or a piece that says exactly what you would want to. When S shared this poem by Sarah McMane on her FB wall, I realized that if I wanted to put together everything I would ever want to tell my daughter, this would be it. It's perfect - it covers all aspects of the individual I aspire her to be. 

So, dear Manya, if you ever are deluged by all what mommy's telling you (which you will many-a-times, because (a) mommy talks a lot, and (b) there's so much to tell), you can always read this poem to get a concise summary. Ms. McMane wrote this for her daughter, but I'd repeat it to you line by line, word for word. Love you, tonnes!

Never play the princess when you can

be the queen:

rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,

wear a crown of gold.

Don’t dance in glass slippers,

crystal carving up your toes --

be a barefoot Amazon instead,

for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.

Never wear only pink

when you can strut in crimson red,

sweat in heather grey, and

shimmer in sky blue,

claim the golden sun upon your hair.

Colors are for everyone,

boys and girls, men and women --

be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,

not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.

Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,

fierce and fiery toothy monsters,

not merely lazy butterflies,

sweet and slow on summer days.

For you can tame the most brutish beasts

with your wily wits and charm,

and lizard scales feel just as smooth

as gossamer insect wings.

Tramp muddy through the house in

a purple tutu and cowboy boots.

Have a tea party in your overalls.

Build a fort of birch branches,

a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of

Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,

first stop on the moon.

Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,

bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,

not Barbie on the runway or

Disney damsels in distress --

you are much too strong to play

the simpering waif.

Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,

paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.

Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.

For the ground beneath will hold you, dear --

know that you are free.

And never grow a wishbone, daughter,

where your backbone ought to be.

Happy New Year, Love

Dearest Manya,

2012 has been THE life changing year for daddy and mommy. We have gone through ups and downs all through our lives and had many a proverbial new chapters, but with you coming into our world, it's a whole new epic!

At a single glance, the world doesn't seem to be doing very well - economic crises across the globe, shootings, unrest, and I don't even want to talk about the state of affairs in India. But, one look at you and we are filled with hope - hope for a better tomorrow for you to live in. We want you to grow up to be happy that we chose to bring you in this world. And I am not sure that we are doing enough.

However, what is living without hope and love, and so we shall celebrate each new day as it comes!

2013 will be a year of a trillion firsts for you. I can't tell you how excited mommy and daddy are for your first tooth, your first food, your first word and your first step. You are growing up fast. As I write this, you are already 8 weeks old - now that's a big girl compared to the tiny baby we got from the hospital :).

Last year, around this time, mommy and daddy were sipping wine, and feasting on rum cakes. We were out for dinner and went hiking on the first day of 2012. Those were happy times.

This year, we are surrounded by your dirty diapers, stinky burp cloths, messy bath routines, and sleepless night outs! But guess what, these are happier times because we have you and you occupy all our attention and thought, leaving no space for nostalgia of the calmer (:D) times we have left behind. So, here's wishing you a very very happy 2013. 

Lots of love n hugs n kisses!