Move over Rudolph!

Move over Rudolph - this holiday season Dominick, the Italian Christmas donkey, is the rage. M has been singing this on auto-loop all day and we have been hee-hawing with her.

Letter to Santa from a minty new 6 year old

(Lesson well learnt: Always have options ready.
Lesson to be learnt: All options need to be practical.

And as for how dot com savvy Santa is - that remains to be seen.

Oh, and also, recess used to be my favorite thing at school too. So many lunch break and cafeteria moments come rushing back!)

#FeelingHilarified

M was recalling some incident from school and she goes...
“Mom it was so funny. I was hilarified”

Me: hang on what happened to you?

M: I was hilarified!

Me: That is a great spin to the word hilarious Manya but it’s not really a word you know.

M: it should be.

Me: you mean you found it very funny... you were so amused...

M: no, I exactly mean that - I was hilarified. There’s no other word that describes what I mean.

Me: well nobody uses that word - it isn’t even in the dictionary.

M: too bad. I use it. It should be added to the dictionary.

Me: 🤷🏻‍♀️

(PS: I googled the word and actually found that even though it is not obviously in the traditional dictionary, it does find a place in the “urban dictionary”. I am absolutely ridiculified!!!)

Turning 6

Here's a milestone update as Madame M turns 6.

- Let's get this out of the way - boy, she can talk. talk back. talk loud. you get the drift.

- She is on the taller side for her age - I used to think she'd tower over the other kindergartners, but looks like she blends right in.

- We are in that terrible princess - rainbow - glitter - unicorn phase. I can't wait to move beyond.

- For every thing that mom says - first try to say no. Or argue. Or offer a deal. A yes right away would make it to the headlines.

- She is a reader alright! Has been devouring chapter books for many months now - notable ones - The Princess in Black series, Heidi Hecklebeck, Ivy and Bean, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlotte's Web, Magic Tree House series....

- She is getting better at writing - I am beginning to understand that her part frustration with writing is that she has all these big words that she wants to express herself with but can't get hold of the spellings - so she tries to consciously choose simpler words to make it less painful. ALso, she is plain lazy - would rather not write. 

- She is doing basic addition and subtraction - learning to use her fingers - trying teh counting by 5s and 10s.

- Art - painting, cutting , gluing, coloring, drawing -she can spend hours on this. We tried some art classes over the summer and she absolutely enjoyed them. We'll go back next summer too.

- Swimming continues - she doesn't take it competitively - loves the water though and that works for me!

- For all her declarations of being grown up and wagging her finger ta me telling me "You are not the boss of me", she still finds her way at night to snuggle and sleep with us!

- Still enjoying school too - her favorite part of the day is recess though!

Happy 6th!

Oh my dear lord! Manya, you are 6. Like you yourself put it really bluntly the other day you are not cute or baby or sweet anymore. 

You are a wildfire, a beautiful blossoming flower, a fast flowing river. The sassier you are getting, the harder my prayers get. We want you to have all the happiness that you desire and then some more. This year has been a big transition for you. We moved from Portland to Seattle. You moved from the snug preschool to the public elementary school where you started Kindergarten - all excited and ready to take on the world. 

In you, I see a very pragmatic person who is often overridden by the many emotions that ebb in her heart - and I might find it exhausting because one minute it seems like you are so mature, understanding everything and then the very next second you are this moody whiny baby like any six year old - but I guess that's how it should be. I have to keep reminding myself that inspite of your spitfire attitude and humongous vocabulary, you are my little baby. 

Today is a day to celebrate you. And it doesn't get old - the joy of preparing for your big. Your enthusiastic anticipation - you want to be surprised but "in a good way" Ha ha ha! Oh dear!

This year is special because nana nani are here to add their frosting of love over everything. You were not sure about a party with your friends and so we let it be this year. Though school was fun - with you wearing your royal dress and the cupcakes for everyone - you got to be the star of the week!

Now a days we are having a lot of conversation around what is really important - experiences, relationships and not necessarily things, objects, toys. We are talking about "real" happiness. I know it's hard especially because no joy can be greater than getting an american girl doll that looks just like you at 6! But I hope that someday the message goes deeper and stay with you. As you enjoy your presents, I hope that you will be able to look back at these days for their unconditional love and warmth, and celebration of you.

5 Lessons from 5 weeks of Kindergarten

(P.S. Everything in double quotes is exactly as is from the horse’s own mouth)

1. “Girls rule, boys drool”. - declared like a universal fact without any context.
(I still don’t know how to react. )

2. We all “need” boyfriends and girl friends. “Boy friends are needed to help with fighting the other boys”, and “to dance with.” There’s also a concept of “back up boyfriends”.

Also, please note, if someone is “handsome”, or “really pretty” you can have a “crush” on them.
(Crush, seriously. At kindergarten. *insert continuous eye roll*)

3. Black is the new pink. “Mom, Black is very fashionable!”

4. The floss dance is a real thing. And when I see my daughter do it, I realize how old, jaded and outdated I have become.

5. Wearing the football team shirt - Seattle Seahawks in our case - is very in and chic. A must have piece of clothing in the wardrobe.

It is almost as if I have also started school, not just her. So much to learn!

That Bento Mom

This is just to go on record to say that I am being very dutiful and responsible mother. I am that bento mom who meal plans and sends love notes.
(Pls read as: I am no longer the cool flip flopping mom I had imagined myself to be)

Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way!

OMG! Guess who is completely institutionalized now! Ha ha ha! Kindergarten! Brace our hearts!

#FetteredFreedoms #AreYouFree?

Me: Manya do you remember what was on 4th of July?
M: yes independence day.
Me: yes, that was USA’s independence day and now next week on the 15th of August is India’s independence day
M: what happened
Me: the Indians fought against the British rule
M: how did they all agree on the same thing?
Me (wondering what a question to ask):what do you mean - they meaning Indians?
M: yeah how did they all agree to fight
Me: because they all realised that India and Indians were suffering under the British rule...
...,,
And so i went on and on about the freedom struggle etc etc and finally as we were wrapping up...

Me: so you do realize that freedom is a privilege - what does freedom mean?
M: not worrying about anything or the rulers while doing the right thing - no unfair rules
Me (so proud of the teaching i impart 😇) very good - so how does it feel to be free manya?
M: i don’t know Mom. I am not free. I am under your rule. Are you sure you are Indian? I think you are British - you make unfair rules.
Me: 🙄🙏🏼🤔😳😯🙇🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😏 i think ill go cook dinner.

Meditation debunked!

Me: Manya do you want to learn about meditation? How to meditate ?
M: No thank you.
Me: oh come on, you don’t even know what it is about. Its a very powerful tool. Lets do it.
M: okay, whatever. 
(She is only 5 but i resist the eye roll)
Me: okay, now forget everything only think about your breathing. The miracle of life with every deep breath. Focus on your inner self. You can keep your eyes open or closed - whatever helps.
M: nothing helps. This is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t have an inner self. I have only one self - myself.
Me: you goofball, if you have only one true self you don’t need meditation.
M: wonderful, can we focus on brownies for breakfast instead?

Parenting Lesson #789: Realism in art is passé

M: how’s my painting mom!
Me: it’s great - I love the tree. Have you seen trees like this before?
M: ofcourse not! This is from my imagination - it took me so long to think of something.
Me: wonderful! You can also draw inspiration from nature - like you know what you see?
M: what is inspiration?
Me: when you see or experience something and you like it so much that you want to replicate it - draw it, do it, be like it.
M: you mean copy? why should I want to draw something that already exists.
Me: inspiration is not copying. But forget that - what I meant was if you want to make real stuff or realistic stuff you can observe life around you?
M: no I don’t want to make realistic stuff. That’s boring. I don’t want to make something that’s already there - you can take a picture or just see it. I want to make stuff that nobody has seen before. That’s the whole point. Why should I show someone what they can see on their own.
Me: umm you might have a point there.
M: so how fabulous do you think my painting is.
Me: pretty fabulous!

#AreYouaBeliever?

M: Mom are there any real dragons?
Me: No Manya
M: Are there any real magical fairies?
Me: Nope
M (very offended): Its unbelievable how picky you adult human beings are when it comes to believing things. If you don’t see it, it simply does not exist. Africa exists, dinosaurs existed but fairies and dragons don’t. That’s preposterous! I simply will not take it. What i believe in does exist. You can sit there and go on believing nothing exists. I am done with you and your non believing.

Her highness then actually very dramatically just storms off. I am still sitting here and wondering what did i do to bring on such fury.

[Such a long read that it needs a caption. Let’s call it, “The Smoking Lady”.]

So M has still not reached that age or phase where a girl is exposed to a list of what she must or mustn’t, and can or cannot do because of her gender.

Sure, preschool has brought about conversations around pink vs blue, cars vs dolls, and tutus vs trousers but we have been able to navigate thru these by explaining choice and how what is long being followed becomes normal (which means nothing) but its okay to make individual choices. I feel we have been more or less successful even though Manya pushes back - “Mom, i know its my choice and girls needn’t wear only pink but its my life and my body and I choose pink glitter. Thank you very much.”
Cant argue with that either!

Anyways, going back to my initial point of her not having yet faced blatant gender based discrimination, I was shocked to hear from her today, “Mom, just look at that - a lady smoking!”
Thank you Seattle downtown for giving me endless opportunities to educate my kid. 🙄. During our stay here, we have encountered lines of people leaning against building and burning their lives in smoke, drunken brawls that involve choicest of abuses a five year old needn’t have heard, homeless people begging, property destructions in broad daylight, drug addicts approaching high headed in the middle of noon, cars racing and breaking speed limits, and all the PDAs around touristy spots. I am so ready to move to the suburbs.

But for today the smoking lady is of paramount importance. Here’s our conversation...
Me: Manya what is so special about a lady smoking?
M: How can she smoke. Didn’t you say its bad for health and bad for the planet?
Me: Yes it is. But that holds good for both men and women.
M: I know its bad for all but atleast women should not smoke.
Me (absolutely aghast and fumbling to understand the origin of this thought process): I dont understand manya, if its wrong for everyone, nobody should smoke.
M: yes nobody should smoke but atleast women have more sense and they should know better.
Me: why should women know better than men.
M: because girls are the best?
Me: not true, girls and boys can be equally good or equally bad - you have to talk about individuals - you have boy best friends and girl best friends, don’t you?
M: that’s true, you are right.
Me: I am always right.
M: These people need to stop smoking, I feel like puking.
Me: you are right
M: I am always right.

Phew.

#Cheeky Brat and Big Words - COMPROMISE

Manya’s time tested tactic to sneak in screen time - whenever she sees me engrossed in a phone call, she’ll start pestering. And mostly if its a call I cant hang up or put on hold to reason out (read as shout and argue), she knows she can get away with. Who cares if mommy gives a lecture afterwards - those stolen moments are well worth it.

Today was one of those days - I was on a rather long call with customer care (you get the drift), and she started the cajoling - already frustrated with the long wait, I snapped at her. She writes this and hands it over to me. I signal what, and she whispers back with utmost gravity, “Mom, I think you should learn to compromise - you should listen to the lady on the phone and to me too. Can I please watch screen. I’ll switch off when you are done with your call. We all will be happier that way.”

Sigh.
With every passing day, I realize parenting is mostly a compromise between what is best for your child and what is best for your sanity.

(P.s. even though my first instinct was to tell her the correct spelling, I just let her watch “my little Pony” instead)

Maybe "greatness" runs in the family :p

Manya: Mom you make awesome hot chocolate.

Me: Ooh thank you!

Manya (with seemingly great sincerity): You make everything so well but do you know what you make best?

Me (a little unsure where all this sweetness was heading towards): What?

Manya (so matter of factly): Daughters. You make great daughters. You have made the best daughter ever!

I burst out laughing, literally rolling on the floor...

Manya (not at all amused): Okay now no need to get so excited about having such a great daughter.

Oh Lord, deliver us from such “greatness”.

The big move!

So we left Portland for Seattle end of last month. While we are still in transition, I have to note how cooperative Manya has been. With a bout of pneumonia just a day before the move, I had expected her to be less welcoming to all the changes and the frenzy - but not my sweet charming child (when she chooses to be one). No complaints - absolutely patient - and in fact looking forward to all the big new stuff that's going to happen - house hunting. new school. new neighborhood! I hope her spirits remain high! A challenging but a great start to the year!

Chutes and Ladders

It’s actually very funny how things esacalate between M and me when we play chutes & ladders...

From such warm hugs and kisses as we unfold the board game,to distancing positions as the game proceeds, to war cries as we miss the ladders and don’t miss the chutes, to frustrated sighs and threatening tears as mommy refuses fo bend the rules, and finally to cold accusing stares as we pack the damn thing off muttering promises of never to play it again with “this lady”.

P.s. Mommy won 3 games in a row. 😂