Of death and mortality...

There's only so much you can keep a child's vocabulary limited to all things bright and sunny. With more stories being told, videos being watched, conversations at camps and classes, our daughter has picked up a whole set of new words that always bring in awkwardity and discomfort - death, kill, dead etc. 

Interestingly, she has not directly asked me the meaning of these words - and I have let her go explore her own meanings and plan to wait for her to come to me rather than offer my explanations voluntarily. During some fighting game she loves playing (read jumping on the bed on me at nap time) - she said, "Mommy I am going to kill you and then you pretend die, okay?"

I was like okay but "What do you mean by die?". So she goes, "Don't move - you are going to be trapped and you can't move or breathe." I just played on. 

However, the other she took me by complete shock, when very casually as I was helping her put on her shoes to go out for her swimming class, she asked me, "Mommy dying also means going to sleep forever,, right? I am scared what if you and daddy die? Who will take care of me? Who will take me for classes? Who will love me?"

I was absolutely shaken and couldn't reply for a minute or so. Finally, I told her, "Don't worry - nothing's going to happen to mommy and daddy - we are going to be with you forever."

That has to be the biggest lie I have or ever will tell my child but still I decided that a 3 year old need not worry about the tryst with mortality at such a young age. God willing, I hope I'll get a chance to revisit that question with a more mature Manya.

M goes to the planetarium!

All of last year, Manya used to say she wants to grow up to be an astronaut (she want to be a Vet now) and consequently she has learnt quite a bit about planets, and stars and moons. We thought she was ready for her first trip to the Planetarium and we were correct! 

She was awestruck the entire time, and listened so carefully and watched with such amazement that it was absolutely worth it to go into the chaos of downtown braving a rainy day and crowded streets!

#ListeningtoSilence

One of those moments that need to be captured as is...

We are standing at a slightly secluded spot - there are the woods, a small pond and lots of birds chirping around. Manya says: "mommy I love how I can hear silence here"
Me: how can you hear silence - you just mean the noise the birds are making
Manya: you don't understand - you need to concentrate and then listen.
Me: Manya I hear nothing
Manya: that is right, you hear silence.

Either I have driven her crazy or she's driving me crazy! 

Rules of Engagement: Toddlers

Our little cub is not so little anymore - from a new born, to an infant, to a baby, to a toddler - she has crossed through quite a few stages; and as we prepare to say adieu to toddlerhood and hello to the preschooler, I thought I'd put in my learning in a post to share - with parents who are going thru or will be going thru this stage soon, so that they know it never gets easy - with parents who have already crossed this stage, so that they can sit back, laugh, and thank god they are done with - with friends who are not yet parents, so that they know exactly what all to consider before taking the giant leap! :P.

And I am happy that I haven't broken the tradition of a post around Mother's Day - fourth year in a row! Thank you and a very happy mother's day to you too (whatever that means, because I haven't seen a non-Mother's Day in the last 4 years :D)

Alright, ladies and gentlemen, based on limited experience and research, presenting to you Rules of Engagement for Toddlers (Age range: About 1 - 3 years) - written from their perspective (ofcourse)...

I Rule of Ownership

Everything is mine - my stuff, your stuff, the neighbor's stuff, the friend's stuff, the play gym's stuff. If it is in somebody else's hand, it is definitely mine. If I can't have it, oh yeah, it sure is mine. If it is dangerous, I was born to own it. If it is broken, lying within reach, or nobody's showing interest in it, I might consider for one fleeting moment, that it may not belong to me. This poem makes a fun read on the subject.

II Rule of Time aka Rule of "NOW"

There was no past, there is no future - no yesterday, today, or tomorrow. I live in the present moment - NOW. I want candy now.  Want to go to the park now. Play now. Eat now. Cry now. Kiss now. Jump now. There's only one small exception to the rule - I never ever want to sleep now.

III Rule of Appetite

I am never hungry except when - you are using the restroom, on the phone, working, cleaning up, in the grocery store 5 mins post evening snack, at an outing where food cannot be made immediately available, when guests are home, and most importantly at nap time and bed time.

IV Rule of Night time Sleep
Fed, cleaned, brushed, changed, bed time story done, song done, all snuggled up in bed, I need to talk. I feel hungry. I definitely need to use the potty. I need a drink. As that sweet kissing mommy changes to a monster yelling at me, I quickly fall asleep so that she spends the rest of the night in guilt of shouting at me as the last thing of the day.

V Rule of Napping
Refer to Rule IV on Sleep above. In addition to that, there's a strong possibility I'll skip napping altogether and then I'll fall asleep in the car, driving to the groceries, so that mommy is caught in the eternal struggle to wake a sleepy baby or spend time browsing on her phone in the parking lot. (My mommy is getting smarter - she has a book ready on her tablet for such occasions.)

VI Rule of New Clothes
If you have dressed me in new clothes, I am surely going to soil it, spill food on it and generally make it unwearable before we have even gotten out of the door.

VII Rule of Vocabulary Building
I will pick up only those words and expressions that you don't want me to. You can never be too careful. And I will keep repeating them for everybody, till every single person knows how bad your language is. Don't even try spelling it for my sake - people find it cuter when a curse word is spelt out correctly by humans of my age.

VIII Rule of Arms against Common Enemy
Nobody is on your side - not me, not your friend, not your own mom and dad. I act extra sweet and cute when with extended family and friends, because I get sympathy, empathy, and such support that I almost begin to feel sorry for your state. Life is unfair, you often tell me. Haa!

IX Rule of Potty
Resist potty training as much as I can - as if my life would cease to exist if I were made to sit on the pot. And when finally potty trained, I sit on it all day singing, playing with toilet paper and creating a mess - potty is my favorite place to be. Also, it is of utmost importance to use the potty when mommy sits down to eat, when she is cooking, when there are guests, when in a new place and never mind there's no nature call - I just fake it. Also, I talk about potty all day - it has become the center of my being.

X Rule of Persistence
If I am told a NO, keep asking, whining, crying, in the hope that one day that NO will change into a Yes. And if that is not achieved, I atleast get the distinct satisfaction of my mom pull out her hair in desperation.

XI Rule of Unpredictability
I hate when adults are so sure about my like and dislikes. Hello! Till you get it signed on a stamp paper, don't hold me to what you think my favorites are. That includes what you think are my favorite foods, clothes, games, activities, people etc. I like to experiment and not be so predictable!

XII Rule of Argumentation
I first want to know WHO and WHAT. Who is that? What is that? Everything - everything all over a million times. Then I want to know the WHY - an infinite loop of Whys. You don't think you can keep up? Why?

XIII Rule of Positive Action
Ending the list of rules on an ominous number, I just do it. If it looks dangerous, if I know they are not going to let me do it, if I think it might cause panic and alarm, I will definitely take the plunge.

Finally, one overarching Golden Rule: While following all the above rules, I don't forget the hugs and kisses and cuddles and snuggles and the innocent puppy faced glances. These adults are suckers for such. Just as I know the dam of patience is going to break, I say or do something incredibly sweet and that gets me the get out of jail card for free!

#NotBeingHuman

Lately, Manya has been going on and on about how she does not want to be a human being anymore - apparently she wants to be anything but a human. Here are some quotable quotes from her highness on the subject...

"Being a human is so boring. I wish was some kind of an animal or a bird or even a bug - anything but a human being."

"There's nothing that human beings can do - they cannot fly, they cannot lay eggs, they cannot wriggle on the ground."

"Maybe, I'll grow up to be a bird. I'll fly high in the sky, build a nest, lay my eggs, and protect my chicks from human beings."

"I wish I was a cheetah or a tiger. I know I am ot a human being. I am a cheetah cub and I will grow up to be a real cheetah!"

And ofcourse, it is always the mother's fault...

"Why did you give birth to me as a human being - couldn't you give birth to me as a bird or a bug or an animal instead?" 

Our Morning Alarm Setlist

I got up this morning to be told by FB how I had shared the following status 2 years ago on this very day...

...
My mornings have been cruel (and very early) ever since M was born. In the initial months she'd wake us with a cry, later with a shout, then with a kick. Once she started talking a little, it was "aap" (up)...For the last few weeks she had been saying, "git aaahp" (get up). But today was really the heights. Her highness gets up, sits on my tummy and says, loud and clear, "Wake up, Lazy!!!"
:o:O"
...

Well, I had to update with our current status...
...I had to share this - she is still my morning alarm and while I don't get the wake up lazy too often, I do get a full blown sermon that usually goes like this, 
"mommy wake up wake up - can't you see it is morning - there is light now- we need to get up- everybody wakes up early. I need to pee, I need to drink milk - I am so hungry. I need to go to the park - can I also watch Octonauts today? Will we go to the beach today or the zoo? I really need a dog pet. I want to learn to fly. Did you know sharks can also be friends? Can I have a tiger or cheetah pet? Mommy if you don't get up I think I will pee in the bed!!"
All this and more in the first 2 mins of my day. 😳😳😳

#OrganicConversations

Me: Manya what will you have for breakfast today.
M: something organic
Me: great choice, exactly what organic. 🙄
M: maybe, organic egg.
Me: awesome, and what should I make from the organic egg 🙄🙄
M: organic omelette
Me: okay, what fruit do you want after that?
M: organic fruit
Me: 🙄🙄🙄 and what organic fruit would that be
M: Banana
Me: great
M: how do you know this is organic
Me: because it says on the label
M: who put the label?
Me: the authorities that claim it is organic
M: hmm, what is organic anyway?
Me: if you don't know what organic is, why did you ask for it
M: because I like organic
Me: ha - you are exactly like most organic consuming adults I know 😛😛😛

(P.s we are still talking about what is organic and what is not - this is opening up a whole can of worms and more!)

Swim lessons, finally!

We finally started Manya on her swim lessons. She has been asking for forever now and well we are there now.

Today was her first lesson and no surprises that she thoroughly enjoyed her class. She loves water so we really had no problems about introducing her to the class as such. We are on only for once a week classes and might up that in the near future. All the excitement and physical activity had worn our little tiger down quite a bit - she was hungry and sleepy almost immediately after (both very rare occurrences :))

Another first this year!

Martial Arts

While all activities that Manya is engaged in currently - art, swimming, dropoff school skills class - have been mostly driven by M herself, this is one thing that I consciously steered her towards - Martial Arts. I spoke to her about it and told her what she could expect and if she would be interested - she gladly said yes - anything to get out of the house for, I guess. She has watched KungFu panda and hopes to learn kung-fu soon. But oh well...

I firmly believe that children when involved in any kind of martial arts from an early age develop a positive body image - they learn to control and respect their body and become conscious of their own physical and mental strengths, a sense of discipline, respect for self and others and basic right and wrong. Actual self defense comes later. These are skills or values that a sport or a dance class would also inculcate - I was not very keen on pursuing these though because I feel she is too young to choose a specific sport and as for dance umm it requires some kind of innate skill- whereas martial arts is all acquired - i think that reinforces a greater sense of confidence in one's own ability and effort.

Sometime earlier this year, I finally found a school that completely aligns itself to my perspective. We had our first class today and I was absolutely thrilled - One, Manya loved the class and wants to continue. (I even asked her f she'd want to do a dancing class instead to which she very matter-of-factly replied - "I already know how to dance :P :D.").

Two, the class was structured exactly how I would have wanted - there's a lot of focus on physical posture, respectful behavior, and real life scenarios that require physical, mental and emotional processing. 

I really hope M decides to pursue this long term - it does help that we got a brand new uniform and the white belt!

First drop-off class!

The control and plan freak that I am, this is how we have charted out Manya's initiation to one of the most widely believed in institutions - formal learning or school - So her highness starts formal preschool - 5 days a week, 2hrs 40 mins a day starting September. So that she is comfortable with the school environment, she'll be going for a summer camp in July-August, two days a week, 2.5 hrs a day. And to get used to staying without mommy, we have started her on something called a School Skills class (once a week - for two hours), which is just play, music and some project work at Gymboree, where she already goes for a mommy and me art class.  

Many people think I am crazy to micromanage the transition from being full time at home with mommy to being at a preschool, and I agree but then that's how I am :D. :p.

Anyways, so March 9th was Madame's first drop off class. If you have read my earlier posts, you'll know M has been showing signs of school readiness for a while now - we are potty trained, communicate well, and most importantly are damn bored sitting at home. She was well briefed by me as to what was going to happen and she was quite non-chalant about all of it. She just asked me the previous day that what if she really starts missing me and needs me, - I told her well if there's a problem your teacher will be able to resolve, else she has my number and if you "realllyyyy" need me, she can always give me a call. She also asked me if the teacher would give hugs and I told her if she wanted, she could initiate it herself. And that was about it.

I dropped her off and she said bye and turned around and did not look back even once - my mind tells me that I should be happy about it, but oh heart! To calm my nerved down, I sat in a coffee shop right across the street and once it was fairly clear I was not going to be called anytime soon, I ventured to a nearby mall.

I got a nice hug and a delightful squeal when I was there to pick her up - She showed me some projects and on the way home when I asked her what happened at school, she goes, "I told Teacher Jerda, I want to do susu, I forgot to say pee, but she understood. She had to help me get on to the pot but I pulled up my panties and pants on my own!" Oh and how I went awwww.

The other big happening was snack time apparently. After a couple of hours, she told e there was a boy who knocked down her tower and did not apologise but she didnt fight with him. We ofcourse have no corroboration for the story. And I believe another boy told her "he didn't want to be talked to" LOL.

So we are good and our little girl is all set to fly :).