Mean mom! Oh no!

#ParentingFail #EarnedMyFirstMeanMomBadge #MilestoneinParenting

#LongPostAlert

Me (at the brink of insanity): Manya you have not been listening and you have been really acting up, I am sorry but your screen privileges for the rest of the day have been withdrawn.

M (at her cruel best): That is not fair. You are being a mean mom.

Me (trying hard to keep it civil at my end): Well, you do admit that you have been giving me a tough time today. I warned you not to push my buttons.

M (in complete earnestness): You are not even wearing buttons - I never pushed anything. I use my words.

Me (trying hard to keep a straight face): Pushing buttons means annoying or troubling a person till they lose their cool.

M (the devil is back): So are you withdrawing my screen privileges because you lost your cool.

Me (fumbling): errr, umm, errrmmm, no. I am withdrawing them because you were having an unnecessary tantrum. You tell me what should I do when you are not behaving yourself - you don't like me raising my voice, you don't accept timeouts, now you don't want me to take away your privileges.

M (in that absolute adorable face): You can hug me and kiss me.

Me (trying to not get dissuaded by this put on innocence): That is always how I start but you refuse to listen.

M: Then continue hugging and kissing me.

Me (trying not to melt): That's not fair Manya - you know you don't come around easily.

M (the horns are back): Withdrawing privileges is not going to help. Screen time is not even a privilege.

Me: It is. You don't get it, you earn it to deserve it.

M: Okay, I will earn it back. How?

Me (finally beginning to feel back in control of the situation): That's the spirit. Here let me put up a chart for you. Every time you are being exceptional, you'll get a + and when you are being really difficult, you get a -. Get your +'s up.

M (with complete dismissal): This is nonsense.

Me (she did not just say that): Watch your language Manya.

M (in great accusatory tone): Fine. But if I had to withdraw your privileges, I don't even need a chart - you would only get minuses for your bad mommy behaviour.

Me (given up on sanity): I don't see that attitude helping the chart.

M (in utter defiance): I will change it if I need screen time.

This 4 year old is going to ensure I really lose it. While at it, can we also get over with teenage already. Just in case you are still reading, I have not given up, not yet.

Snowed in!

It has been a snowmageddon in Portland this year. We have had almost 10 inches of snow. Multiple snow days. An adventure in the snow with being stuck on the road for 3-4 hours. 

Chains on wheels, forced for almost a week indoors with mommy going crazy 24/7 food and snack support, sliding on sledges on the side walk and spray painting the snow and ofcourse making a cool snow dude - we have really had it all!

And ofcourse, the one who has derived the most joy out of all this is Manya. She hasn't once complained about the extreme weather. Actually, and I might have to bite my tongue sooner than I know it, but M is quite the sport when it comes to disrupted routines and plans gone haywire. Her maturity at this age in handling disappointments actually surprises me many a times. 

Also, it is such a joy to watch her growing up enjoying all the seasons equally. I hope she remembers these days with great fondness...

#NotJustaHeartbeat

In a rather loving and cuddling mood;
Me: Manya you are my heart beat.
(I literally feel the warmth evaporating ...)
A rather indignant M: I am not your heart beat - I am a human being - I talk, i dance, I think. (And then in the most contemptuous tone ever) I am not just a heart beat.
Me: oh heart. ❤️💔❤️

May the force be with us!

Manya has picked up a new obsession these days - Star Wars! Considering I am an illiterate at the subject, Google came to rescue when she was throwing terms and characters at us left right. (How did one parent before the Internet age, I have absolutely no clue.)

Well, we bought her a story book that would be more age appropriate. She picks up tons form the library too and is fascinated by the dark side really :). I have told her she needs to wait a couple of more years to start with the movies. The written word seems to satiate her till then! She is even considering becoming R2D2 - her favorite character form the series - for Halloween - but a lost changes in 10 months!

Moana

We had to abandon Moana in the theater after the first 30 mins or even before because M was inconsolable. She was not scared of Maui or the waves but the helplessness of Moana. In Manya's words, "This is so sad. Why are we watching sad stuff?". Awww....

In house vet

Manya has beens saying consistently for more than just a couple of months now that she wants to become a veterinarian when she grows up. She wants the entire Doc Mcstuffin kit for Christmas. And according to her she is practicing everyday to become a good vet. All her soft toys at this point have bandages, have been operated on multiple times and she has even helped her toy dog deliver puppies.

On a serious note, I really think she'll make a great vet. She absolutely loves all members of the animal kingdom - including reptiles, bugs and what not.

Happy Fourth Birthday, my love!

Oh my heart,

You are four - you are also going on 16, from the likes of it :). I am really not kidding. There are one too many moments when you say or do something that is so mature in a nice way, and then something that's totally brash and impudent in a teenage kind of way. Though, to be fair, for the most part, you are a very pleasant, well behaved darling and an absolute delight to be with. Your infrequent but stormy tantrums are usually reserved for mommy dearest - and I think we both understand and have learnt to navigate around the tough love that flows between us.

Your growing independence - not just in choosing your PJs and hair do's and accessories, but also in your thoughts fills us with seamless pride and a seemingly nagging insecurity at the same time. You are compassionate, sensitive, loving, intelligent but you are also too trusting, naive in the ways of the world and emotional - you wear your heart on your sleeve - I feel like constructing a barbed wire fence around you to keep away all the hurt that growing up brings. I like to believe I am that practical level headed mom who'll give you a hand when you fall, but I really wish I was the mom that would just prevent any and every fall. The fact that that is not possible aches my heart ever so often. I am very confident that you will grow stronger and tougher and better with every rough moment in life but as a parent my heart will break every time. 

On your fourth birthday, I wish that the spunk and zest for life that you have now, the empathy you show on your own accord, the absolute love that we share and the kindness in your heart - remains untainted as the years go by. We can never express how much we love you!

The fourth year update!

Oh my god, she is 4, and then some more...

- She continues to have an above average vocabulary - one of the first things most people notice about her. She is mostly very pleasant and cheerful (fingers crossed - we are trying to remain positive here.) M has started stringing sounds together to try to read. I plan to sit with her everyday to encourage this. She is not much interested in writing - and nor do I or at school is she pushed towards it. The later the better, in my opinion. She has started coloring within line on her own and makes well composed drawings and paintings.

- She seems to be doing well in school. Being an only child, we often worried about her getting along at school - with kids - but looks like she is doing great. We hear from her teachers that she communicates well, shares and is quick to make friends. We were much relieved with that assessment.

- Manya continues to move up in her Martial Arts and Swimming levels at a rather steady pace - she is not really the most physically coordinated kid but that has not been my goal. She enjoys these activities and they are helping her enhance her motor skills and general body coordination so that is enough for us. I am hoping she continues these.

- She wants to be a veterinarian - needless to say that comes from her love for animals. Her softies are all subject to surgeries, c-sections and what not. She seems really serious. She is also 4, so well!

- We are eating okay - she balances her meals out but has found great love for mac and cheese, gulab jamuns, oreos and marshmallows!

- She finally has all 20 of her baby teeth and takes good care of them - brushing, flossing and rinsing is the routine - on most days without a fuss!


- Emerging personality traits - she is strong headed - while she tries to put her point across well, she is capaple of losing her temper quick - now a days I feel she tries to control her responses and try to sweeten them - I am so glad for that!

I feel it is becoming easier to talk to her, explain to her - her understanding capability is great and that helps us navigate when we are at loggerheads. Phew, hope that lasts...

It's fall again!

All seasons with a preschooler is like rediscovering the joys and beauty of nature.

We started fall with some apple picking...

Made the customary trip to the pumpkin patch...

Went overboard with our Halloween obsession (Bewitched this year, as Manya chose to dress up as a Witch for Trick o Treating...Phew...Until next year!

Withdrawing privileges!

Daddy: Manya I see you have been having lot of tantrums lately. I want you to stop fussing right now or I will have to withdraw your screen privileges.

Manya: Okay, then I am going to withdraw your hugging and kissing privileges.

Speechless daddy: 01 | Sassy daughter: 02