I want a baby!

...Says Manya and not mommy!

I will go on record to say this that if we have a second kid, it will be only because of so much pressure from our first born. (P.S. I am not expecting). Manya these days is obsessed with babies - every single doll and soft toy she has (and she has too many of those) are babies, which she delicately wraps in blankets and gently sways them and lovingly tucks them in bed.

She says she wants a baby sister and we have had meltdowns and tantrums because she wanted one "right now". I patiently sit and talk to her, "explain" to her but all I get is "Why don't yo try having a baby - you are not doing anything at all, not even trying. Start looking for hospitals atleast", she says!

Haven't I consistently maintained she is a nutcase. We asked her if she would do with a baby brother - she vehemently vetoed the idea and said, "it has to be a baby sister, the baby brother can go back into mommy;s tummy."

We also have days when she puts a soft toy under her t shirt and then brings out and says - "tadaa we have a baby!"

She wants a baby. I want mommy!

Sweet nothings

Some random statements Manya has been making the last couple of months...

"Mommy I have got hurt in the palm of my foot"

"Mommy I want a baby right now"

"I am not adorable. I am Manya" (This when her art teacher told her she was adorable!)

"I am hungry, I must be illuminated."

"I am not cute. Puppies are cute."

"How old is the week today?"

And finally, this one... (it's not sweet but it's her own cute way of saying shut up)..

"Mom, your voice need  not be talked."  Uh. Oh.

The Gothic phase!

Manya is going through a real interesting phase - I call it the "Gothic" phase. We happened to chance upon a book about monsters a couple of months back and there has been no looking back after that.

She wants monster stories all the time, she wants to watch "scary" ghost stories - it is not that she is not scare d she is scared but thrilled at the same time. She imagines tree shadows into our bedroom to be monster arms and then screams in fear or mock, I don't really know which! She runs from one room to another saying she saw a zombie and then is highly disappointed when she realizes there is no space under the bed for monsters to hide.

Oh, and I must talk about creative expressions on these lines - she paints dark, stormy nights in her art class using black, green and purple colors. She paints everything black and brown and dabs some silver strokes here and there and apparently those are spooky voices in the dark forest!

That Halloween is round the corner and all stores are already stocking on decorations and jack-o-lanterns and costumes and what not - hasn't helped our cause. This obsession of hers couldn't be more ill  perfectly timed. The following is her well researched (thank you Library) wish list for Halloween:

- She wants to scare people.

- She wants to go trick or treating (and has already bought her pumpkin basket to carry all that candy).

- She wants to go to a pumpkin field, pick her own one, and carve her own jack-o-lantern.

- She wants to become a bat girl (costume already obtained) - no she is not aware of the comic series or the character but the black cape and the mask excite her! She wanted to become a witch but apparently according to her the costumer was "not black enough".

- She wants to decorate the house with pumpkins, spiders and cobwebs - she also wanted skeletons but has scratched that off her list because then the house "will become too scary".

Here are some hilarious conversation tid-bits in this context...

Me: Manya what do you want to be for Halloween?

Manya: Bat girl

Me: Oh but I thought you wanted to be a witch or something - you didn't like that costume?

Manya: No, for Halloween I want to be a bat girl but when I grow up I want to be a witch.

Me: But you said you'd be an astronaut or a pilot or a firefighter?

Manya: No, I just want to be a witch and cast spell on people.

Me: That maybe a very good career choice (bleh)

-------

Me: Manya you have been extra cranky since morning. Can you please not behave so badly.

Manya: I am not behaving badly. I think a witch has cast a spell.

Me: You'll really have to come up with a better excuse next time.

------

Manya: I think there's a monster in our room.

Me: There's no monster. Monsters are not even real. They are just in your imagination.

Manya (very disappointed): I wish monsters were real.

-----

Manya: Tell me a scary monster story.

So, I make some rubbish up.

Manya: But that is not scary at all - please make it more scary so that I am scared!

-----

This fall is going to be very interesting. Signing off with a picture of Manya's dining plate these days...

P.S. As I was updating the labels for this post, I kid you not a spider jumped onto my screen from nowhere - BOO. It is getting spooky out here!

One of our many "arguments"...

Manya: Is summer over?
Me: Looks like it. It's quite chilly today.
Manya (looking out of the window): It's so cold, even the trees are shivering.
Me: Umm, they are shaking because of the wind. They can't feel cold to shiver.
Manya: Ofcourse they can feel cold.
Me: they cannot really "feel" anything - they don't have a nervous system or brains to understand feelings.
Manya stares at me as if I was talking Latin.
So, I continue - trees can't feel.
Manya: I think they can.
Me: They can't.
Manya: Let us not argue about everything!
Me: 😱😱😱

I cannot say anything to her without her punching it back in my face eventually!

Of cops and jails!

My almost 3 year old is running around the house joyously clapping and singing at the top of her voice, "bhujiya monster has broken her phone and now the police will come and take her to jail"...
...
While I sit quietly in the kitchen munching on aloo bhujiya (translated on the packaging as spicy potato noodles -wtf) and grimacing over my smashed iPhone screen.

It's a cruel, cruel world.

(p.s. my daughter is fascinated by the idea of cops and prison - I regret introducing her to the concept of laws and their enforcement (primarily to get her to stay buckled in her car seat) - now her only motive in life is to know for breaking what laws can I be imprisoned. She does not know of 911 yet. thank god.)

Wheels on the trike go...

It has been a little more than a year that we got M her trike and even though she had taken an instant liking to it, she had not really been able to pedal on her own all these months. 

Today, she took us by surprise by pedaling all by herself! I was so thrilled - she was too - a new found independence, I think, she feels. She has to lean to steer properly and pedal at the same time - just now the focus is all over the place - also I realized she still does not have the strength to pedal uphill - since almost all roads and streets we take our sloping, she will have to learn to go uphill to do downhill - oh well, all in her own time!

She is quite the cheeky brat thought, as she asked me "how are we celebrating my cycling?'

 Oh, and she also feels that since she "can cycle now, she needs a bike, a skateboard, and a scooter". 

And she also remarked that I should get my own cycle and then we can go on adventures together. 

Like seriously, keep the handle straight lady!

#LifeisTough

An exceptionally entertaining day...

..a very exasperated M struggling with some Lego blocks...finally gave up, and hugged me and said:

"Mommy, life is so tough - I just want to be a baby Manya and go back inside your tummy"

Oh those rare moments when her sentiments echo mine ;P.

Protecting eyes from screen time!

As I was prepping for dinner,
Me: Manya I think you have had enough screen time for the day please keep my phone away.
Manya: But mommy I want too much screen time.
Me: Too much screen time is bad for you
Manya: Why
Me: Because it doesn't let your mind and body grow.
Manya: But I am growing so well
Me (to myself - WTF, what a narcissist am I bringing up): Alright, but it's bad for the eyes too. You will stop seeing after a while.

[Yes, I am a cruel mom - SILENCE there was]

I thought I had won this battle only to turn around and see Manya with my phone and with her sunglasses on!

Me:Why do you have your sunglasses on?
Manya (with the cheekiest grin ever): Just like the sunglasses protect my eyes from sun, they will protect me from screen time.

I don't know what I have done to deserve this! Seriously!

Why M won't nap!

Our day time naps have become an every day battle, nay, war now, as I mentioned in an earlier post. Read on the complete list of arguments put forth by her highness:

• "I am not sleepy."

• "I am not sleepy AT ALL."

• "I am so hungry."

• "I am so thirsty."

• "I am too tired to sleep."

• "I have some important work to do."

• "I cannot see properly with my eyes closed."

• "I cannot breathe when I close my eyes."

• "I need to go potty."

• "I want the fan to go away from the room."

• "I cannot close my eyes because there are tears in my eyes."

• "If I sleep, I will cry."

• "I am missing daddy."

• "I am so very hungry."

• "I don't like sleeping"

I already spotted my first grey hair and boy, don't I know what has caused it.

#ToughLove

Today...an exceptionally hectic day and M doing her best to get on my nerves...

Me (in a rather loud voice): Manya enough. No more troubling me. I have had enough from you. No whining.
Manya (whining): Mommy I don't want you to get angry at me.
Me (seeing red): I don't want you to tell me what you want or don't want.
Manya (at her whining best now): I don't want you to scream at me.
Me: Manya enough!
Manya: I just want you to be happy and I want you to love me.
[Trust her to throw in a game changer]

Me (obviously mellowed and feeling guilty and all of that): Manya, mommy always loves you - even when she scolds she loves - i love you all the time. Just like you love me, don't you? Even when you behave badly, you love me, right?
Manya: Yes, I love you even when I am cranky but I don't love you when you are angry.
[Realizing this conversation is not going where I'd like it to...]

Me: Manya, it is out of love that I scold you - I want you to be safe and well behaved and happy and for that I have to get angry or stop you from doing wrong things, okay?
Manya: But I don't want the scolding, angry love. I only want the hugging and kissing love.

[Needless to say I could not find the right words after that and like most other times she ended up having the last say!]