Bringing up kids in a racially diverse community...

This article reminded me of the time my daughter thought she couldn’t be a princess and wished she too had blue eyes, blonde hair, and fair skin. Oh how far we have come from there...

We as adults think race is not an age appropriate topic to discuss with kids, surely not preschoolers - but that’s not true. Kids see color - it’s only us adults who are great at pretending that we are blind to it.

It is important to discuss color and race and differences as the conversations organically come up - to brush away our children’s observations as “oh no we are all the same” is not right. Understand the context they are coming from, acknowledge how race and color can affect relationships and reactions in the real world, and then assert that that is not right. Educate them about the science - melanin duh! Based on their age, talk about the economics of race.

And very importantly, tell them stories and history of their own culture - let them see not just the oppression but the success stories - the heroes and the heroines from everywhere.

And finally teach them love and kindness and acceptance for all - we are raising our children in a shrinking world - they are going to show us how to embrace and celebrate differences and thrive because of them, not inspite of them.

Isn't white a color?

The other day, my 8 year old asked me why Kamala Harris was considered the first person of color to be the US Vice President - surely there were other people before her and what if they were white - Wasn't white a color - like black, and brown and yellow?

That was a difficult question - Why do we use the phrase people of color for non whites? Isn't white a color? 

This conversation inspired the poem here. 

I have a dream...

Sometime last week, Manya rushes to the door as I wait to pick her up from school - hurries to the car, plops herself onto her car seat, and I hadn’t even started the ignition that she exclaims, “Mom did you know had it not been for Martin Luther King Jr., you and I wouldn’t even get to ride the public transport in America. Thank god you came to America after everybody became equal.”

Her teacher tells me she has been all ears, absorbing everything around the subject and pouring over related books in the school library too. She wanted to warn me about the discussions that might ensue. And they sure did. What interesting (and uncomfortable) conversations have we been having!

M’s words:

“Doing good for people could get you shot.”

“Why did the whites think they were superior - how did the blacks not think that” “why did the white get to rule over”

“How did it all - saying we are not equal -start?”

“How can some people think it’s okay to treat others badly - everybody knows what is bad and good behavior - how can the government support such a thing”

“Color does not matter. Character does”

Explaining all this to a 6 year old is tough, let me tell you that! I have been dreading every “mom did you know” “mom why do you think” “mom I was wondering”, lately.

And ofcourse the most interesting aspect is that M is actually fascinated by MLK Jr’s wife more than him. She says Rosa Parks was so great and so brave, why do people not talk about her enough.
And so this pint sized researcher on race in America was found in the political biographies section in the library today, with an eager and thoroughly amused librarian, to help find books on Manya’s current hero - Rosa Parks!

(PS Manya also got to hear the famous “I have a dream” speech at school and again at home, and I don’t know how much she understands but every now and then she very sweetly repeats random mismatched lines from memory.)