It took me a few minutes to digest what she was saying. Well, I was aware of X's dad but the maturity of the parents to come to school and address the elephant in the room (especially in birthday parties) was so refreshing that I was bowled over. I asked her what had happened and realized that in her own simple way she had understood and accepted what many educated adults refuse to even acknowledge. And that is why they say, start them young. Read another related post here.
Well all that context was just to say that we time and again have had conversations on gender identities, gender roles, breaking moulds etc etc - basically normalizing the already normal.
And, Manya has been so mature about everything that it has been really easy... or atleast that was that I had been thinking. However, as she was drafting the birth certificate of her newest toy (a creepy robotic cat - maybe a post about that could be next) last week, I was surprised she said Cat in the Gender column. So I asked her about it.
Me: Manya how come your birth certificate says Gender is Cat. I thought gender is male or female. Cat is just the type of animal.
Manya: No mom. Gender is what you identify as - you can identify as a boy or a girl or what you feel. Beatrice identifies as a cat. So her gender is cat.
Me (thoroughly confused as to where to start - wondering that the discussion of biological sex vs. the social construct of gender would be a little too early to bring on, trying a simpler approach) - Umm okay so Manya I think gender is for human beings - for animals, the sex is identified as male or female.
Manya: Yeah, so Beatrice's sex is female but her gender is cat.
Me (understanding this is going nowhere): But Beatrice is already an animal - a cat.
Manya: Mom, Beatrice is not a human being and Beatrice is not an animal. Beatrice is a toy - she is a robot - she identifies her gender as cat - what is the problem with that. Anybody can identify as a cat. And that can be their gender.
Me (parking this conversation for later): Actually, nothing. You are right she is a toy. And I know so many days I actually identify as a cat or a female dog... (that part more to myself...)
Clearly looks like I have my daughter throughly confused (or not...) but after those five minutes, I was not so worried - it doesn' matter what she really understands and how deeply - what matters is that her mind is open to possibilities...and hopefully complete acceptance. I will take that tiny victory to satiate myself for the time being. More conversations will surely follow...
On a lighter note, so what do you identify as today? :)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Would love to hear what you've got to say!