One of our many "arguments"...

Manya: Is summer over?
Me: Looks like it. It's quite chilly today.
Manya (looking out of the window): It's so cold, even the trees are shivering.
Me: Umm, they are shaking because of the wind. They can't feel cold to shiver.
Manya: Ofcourse they can feel cold.
Me: they cannot really "feel" anything - they don't have a nervous system or brains to understand feelings.
Manya stares at me as if I was talking Latin.
So, I continue - trees can't feel.
Manya: I think they can.
Me: They can't.
Manya: Let us not argue about everything!
Me: 😱😱😱

I cannot say anything to her without her punching it back in my face eventually!

Of cops and jails!

My almost 3 year old is running around the house joyously clapping and singing at the top of her voice, "bhujiya monster has broken her phone and now the police will come and take her to jail"...
...
While I sit quietly in the kitchen munching on aloo bhujiya (translated on the packaging as spicy potato noodles -wtf) and grimacing over my smashed iPhone screen.

It's a cruel, cruel world.

(p.s. my daughter is fascinated by the idea of cops and prison - I regret introducing her to the concept of laws and their enforcement (primarily to get her to stay buckled in her car seat) - now her only motive in life is to know for breaking what laws can I be imprisoned. She does not know of 911 yet. thank god.)

Wheels on the trike go...

It has been a little more than a year that we got M her trike and even though she had taken an instant liking to it, she had not really been able to pedal on her own all these months. 

Today, she took us by surprise by pedaling all by herself! I was so thrilled - she was too - a new found independence, I think, she feels. She has to lean to steer properly and pedal at the same time - just now the focus is all over the place - also I realized she still does not have the strength to pedal uphill - since almost all roads and streets we take our sloping, she will have to learn to go uphill to do downhill - oh well, all in her own time!

She is quite the cheeky brat thought, as she asked me "how are we celebrating my cycling?'

 Oh, and she also feels that since she "can cycle now, she needs a bike, a skateboard, and a scooter". 

And she also remarked that I should get my own cycle and then we can go on adventures together. 

Like seriously, keep the handle straight lady!

#LifeisTough

An exceptionally entertaining day...

..a very exasperated M struggling with some Lego blocks...finally gave up, and hugged me and said:

"Mommy, life is so tough - I just want to be a baby Manya and go back inside your tummy"

Oh those rare moments when her sentiments echo mine ;P.

Protecting eyes from screen time!

As I was prepping for dinner,
Me: Manya I think you have had enough screen time for the day please keep my phone away.
Manya: But mommy I want too much screen time.
Me: Too much screen time is bad for you
Manya: Why
Me: Because it doesn't let your mind and body grow.
Manya: But I am growing so well
Me (to myself - WTF, what a narcissist am I bringing up): Alright, but it's bad for the eyes too. You will stop seeing after a while.

[Yes, I am a cruel mom - SILENCE there was]

I thought I had won this battle only to turn around and see Manya with my phone and with her sunglasses on!

Me:Why do you have your sunglasses on?
Manya (with the cheekiest grin ever): Just like the sunglasses protect my eyes from sun, they will protect me from screen time.

I don't know what I have done to deserve this! Seriously!

Why M won't nap!

Our day time naps have become an every day battle, nay, war now, as I mentioned in an earlier post. Read on the complete list of arguments put forth by her highness:

• "I am not sleepy."

• "I am not sleepy AT ALL."

• "I am so hungry."

• "I am so thirsty."

• "I am too tired to sleep."

• "I have some important work to do."

• "I cannot see properly with my eyes closed."

• "I cannot breathe when I close my eyes."

• "I need to go potty."

• "I want the fan to go away from the room."

• "I cannot close my eyes because there are tears in my eyes."

• "If I sleep, I will cry."

• "I am missing daddy."

• "I am so very hungry."

• "I don't like sleeping"

I already spotted my first grey hair and boy, don't I know what has caused it.

#ToughLove

Today...an exceptionally hectic day and M doing her best to get on my nerves...

Me (in a rather loud voice): Manya enough. No more troubling me. I have had enough from you. No whining.
Manya (whining): Mommy I don't want you to get angry at me.
Me (seeing red): I don't want you to tell me what you want or don't want.
Manya (at her whining best now): I don't want you to scream at me.
Me: Manya enough!
Manya: I just want you to be happy and I want you to love me.
[Trust her to throw in a game changer]

Me (obviously mellowed and feeling guilty and all of that): Manya, mommy always loves you - even when she scolds she loves - i love you all the time. Just like you love me, don't you? Even when you behave badly, you love me, right?
Manya: Yes, I love you even when I am cranky but I don't love you when you are angry.
[Realizing this conversation is not going where I'd like it to...]

Me: Manya, it is out of love that I scold you - I want you to be safe and well behaved and happy and for that I have to get angry or stop you from doing wrong things, okay?
Manya: But I don't want the scolding, angry love. I only want the hugging and kissing love.

[Needless to say I could not find the right words after that and like most other times she ended up having the last say!]

Sunny days!

(A very agitated) Manya: Oh no! The sun is out again!
Me: That maybe a good thing - we can go out in the morning and evening.
Manya: No, the sun is so strong it hurts me. I dont want to go anywhere. I want the sun to get lost.
Me: Umm. It is not so bad. I mean it can get uncomfortable but the sun is very important for us.
Manya: No, it is not. 
Me: Manya you are just like mommy. I don't like the sun too.
Manya: Then can you please shout at the sun and ask it to go back.
Me: I have tried. It doesn't work.
Manya: Nobody listens to mommy. Only Manya listens to mommy.
Me (with a sigh): That maybe true.

P.S. So many complaints about the sun when we are in a place that gets barely 150 days of sunshine in a year out of which half are just partly sunny days. Oh, and if you are wondering what the temp is: 70F/21C currently!

Mothering the terrible twos!

What better way to celebrate Mother's Day than reminisce brood ponder over my how my days are spent. (I seem to be doing that consistently :P, and you can read my previous Mother's Day special posts here and here.) 

So every once in a while I do get to hear how it must be "much easier" to be at home with a two year old who can communicate her needs well and can even be independent as much as a toddler can be. My first reaction is usually WTF. And then based on who it is, I decide whether to voice it or not :D. Putting it very simply, NO, IT IS NOT. And if I am saying it, it gotta be true. I have not forgotten all the cribbing I have done and continue to do, but every stage gets progressively crazier (and I put that very mildly). 

You want to know what is worse than an infant treating you as a 24-hr open milk bar, changing 10+ diapers a day - through the night, sleep regressions, pattern changes, frequent spits, feeding worries, panic attacks when the first sniffles, shivers, infections come along - what is worse is that infant growing up and reaching the terrible twos. 

Not convinced? Humour me. Read on all the wacky things my two-and-a-half-year-old subjects me to.

• "Mommy, today I want to drink milk from the bowl - no cups please." Seriously, first thing in the morning?

• "Daddy, What's the plan today, Can we go to the zoo/ aquarium/ water park/ beach/ mountains etc ?" It's like we are her personal assistants, we should have her day chalked out because she always inquires what's lined up for the day - weekend or not - oh and also "Staying at home is oh so boring." I am telling you this one's onto teenage already!

• While sitting on the pot, great musings are mused. "Mommy, I want to go to space in a rocket. Do they have Dora potties or red and yellow ladder potties or boring grown up white potties in space."

• "Mommy, will my breakfast egg hatch and a chicken come out?"

• "Mommy, when can I go to school?" When you are potty trained hun. "I need to use the potty now." But I am eating now - hang on. "I cannot mommy, it's all going to fall down." So, the only time my daughter really needs to go use the potty is either when I am eating, at the computer, talking to someone on the phone, or cooking. The other times I beg her to use the pot, by the way.

• What's for lunch mommy? Daal (lentils) and rice. "Okay, I will have spaghetti." Alright hun, I can do that. "Oh no, I want to have pasta." Sure. And pasta is served. "Mommy can I have some daal rice." I swear to god.... 

• I can't nap mommy. Why (the hell) can you not? Because I cannot see properly with my eyes closed. I mean seriously, give me another reason. "I can't breathe when I nap." WTF. I am not convinced. "I want the fan to go away from the room when I am napping." That's it. And then my husband wonders why am I so crazed out at the end of the day. (Note to self: I need to do a post on this - I think I have a list of 50 more reasons she comes up with on why she can't nap)

• Post nap is usually peak tantrum time. Copious tears will be shed because the moon has not come out. Or because the sun is too bright, Or because she needs to visit the stars RIGHT NOW. Or we need to go to London in an airplane and she wants to sit on the wings. (I wonder if they have a diagnostic test on children gone bonkers). Or she wants a real dog that walks, and barks and poops.  

• Between Madame's "I want" (s) and I don't want" (s) , there are three other words/phrases that totally piss me off - Ofcourse yes/no, Not quite, Yaa yaa. Will you eat something? Ofcourse not. Do you want to go out? Ofcourse yes! Are you ready for bedtime "Not quite". Can you please give me a simple yes or no? "Yaa yaa". And I pull my hair, I just want to hear a YES or a NO - how hard can that be?

• At the park: worms are dug out, grass is rolled on, dogs are hugged, flowers are smelt, leaves are plucked, and clothes are washed in mud!

• "Mommy I need to brush my teeth." Very responsible? Now make that 10 times a day.

• "Mommy I want to fly. Mommy, when will our house catch fire, I want to see a fire engine. Mommy, can we please go for an venture (adventure). Mommy when can we celebrate Halloween. Mommy, can you please draw spooky voices for me?" Cute? Now make each of that 50 times a day.

• And if all this is not enough, I also get to hear VERY occasionally. "Mommy you are so lucky, you get to play at home all day while poor daddy works." OR "Mommy, why don't you go to work tomorrow and daddy can stay at home with me."

• God forbid if her highness is in  a "helping mood" - with the dishes, laundry, sweeping, cooking - that's the end - rest assured nothing will be gotten done. 

• I must concede though it gets achingly cute too. Mommy can I go back into your tummy? I so wish - you were most controllable then :D. It gets scandalous too, "Daddy, I have a secret, there's a baby in my tummy!"

And then every time I am on the brink of losing sanity, two soft arms envelope me in a warm hug and a cute small mouth lavishes kisses and that imp of a tongue lashes out: Mommy don't be angry. I don't want you to shout. I want you to only love me! The cheek! This brat gets away with all this impudence and more, so I must have a mother's heart after all, no? :P

Happy Mother's Day!

First (successful) shot at the pot!

Only a parent could do a post on this. I am so uncool yes - I was overjoyed to see M peeing in the pot. There I said it. Now the details :P...

In Jan this year, we bought Manya a booster seat for the main pot at HER insistence (yes, every once in a while I like to believe that I am not a parent that forces but takes lead from her bub) - anyways - a nice Dora seat with a matching step tool (which was a little too low) - My daughter was overjoyed - she'd sit on it for hours without doing a damn thing! Like never ever! You have to hear some of her very own comments:

• The pot will get dirty.
• It (it = the act of peeing or pooping in the pot) is disgusting.
• I can sit but I can't do anything.
• It is all getting stuck inside.
• Nothing's coming.
• I am a baby and need to use diapers.
• Everybody should use diapers.
• Diapers are clean - pot is dirty.

My own excitement gave way to frustration and we just parked the whole potty training schedule for May (my logic being she'd be 2.5 yrs old and an arbit date for me to giddy up!)

Well May is here - I ordered a brand new booster for her one which lets her leg rest on the step and fits very well into the adult pot. I made a resolve to start potty training in earnest and spoke to M about it quite a lot - she'd even tell her grandparent that potty training starts in May :D.

So I made her sit and told her in no uncertain terms - she was not going to leave till she did something! And lo behold, the sound of music of pee falling into the pot. Boy, I was thrilled. I hi-fived her and Vish, and both of them managed some half-hearted smiles a if to say what the fuss was about! But, what the hell, she did it! And you know like a pro, she grabbed some toilet paper, wiped herself and flushed it all! All grown up, huh?

Anyways, it is day 2 and we have managed to successfully use the pot only about 5 times till now. I have to remind her to go - she tells me only when the act is in play or has been done! Exasperated, I asked her today a little rudely - don't you come to know when you are about to pee. She calmly replied, "I don't - I come to know only when it is all wet." :(

Clearly, we are eons away from a diaper free tush but a teeny weeny step in that direction has been made. Amen.