Boys are good too!

 After school today…

Me: what’s new at school?

M: do you know what boy-a did today?

Me: no idea

M: he snapped his fingers at the teacher

Me: oh that wasn’t nice at all

M: no, but see that’s the thing with boys - they are not thinking

Me: uhuh

M: boy-a is not a bad guy but he just did it. Also did you know he has a crush on girl-a and everybody knows because he clearly needs help - but girl-a doesn’t know

Me: well that’s pointless he should just tell her - why this big drama

M: you don’t understand mom - he can’t just tell her - that’s a big step to take on your own.

Me: well it doesn’t matter either ways - I mean what’s a crush anyway / it’s like you like one person more than the others - what else!

M: yeah but eventually you might date then and end up marrying them - it all starts with a crush

Me: that’s nonsense - between crush and marriage lies an eternity - and nothing’s certain - people change, feelings change.

M: that’s true and anyways it’s does not seem very wise to marry the first crush you have ..

Me: truer words of wisdom have not been spoken

M: i don’t even know if I’ll ever end up marrying you know

Me: well time will tell..

M: yep but it seems difficult - I mean in my experience only one-third of the boys are really sensible you know. What do you think is the ratio?

Me: no that sounds about right..but let’s not get into this generic boy bashing - I mean talking of generalizations there might be some great things about boys.

M: ofcourse - the best thing about boys is that they are very simple - they don’t think much - they fight, they make up, they move on - it’s not like they say something and mean something else - it’s pretty straightforward - you know like baboons - I love that about boys

Whatever ounce of self control I had was lost with that comment - and I had to excuse myself to laugh in private because this was a very sincere conversation and I didn’t want her to feel I was condescending in any which way - It’s just that I don’t remember being so insightful in 3rd Grade!

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Last of the single digit birthdays!

 She is nine!

At home celebrations again this year - as everybody continues to mask.

- She is growing and every now and then I observe the baby face fading away. Tall but very huggable still :).

- Lot of missing teeth - finally!

- She's doing very well in school - Has joined the high capability - Discovery program at school and is acing it. Loves to read and write. Her writing has just flourished - her vocabulary, complexity of thought and emotion portrayed just blows me away! So very proud of her.

- Wanted a black bike with gears for her birthday - Though she still loves the occassional dresses, I can see the pink and glittler moving into oblivion on most days. Has her own sense of style - for some reason she loves sunglasses :). Still kinda likes jewellery and accessories.

- Minecraft has been big this year. Lot of online gaming with friends. It can be very educational mom, she tells me. Oh well, we know how that goes!

- Restarted swim after the pandemic break, piano doing great. Two big new additions this year - horseback riding and gymnastics!

- I see the obsession with politics easing off as the election madness has died down.

- Guess who is the new selfie queen in the house? My phone and ipad are filled with tonnes of selfies she's been taking! It's very very amusing.

Can't believe we are at the end of the single digits already!

Back to In-Person Learning

 Grade 3: First day of in-person learning in forever.

Echo what a friend remarked, it’s like sending these kids to war or something. Masked, armed with sanitizer, and instructions to keep a safe distance and follow directions at all times!

Oh this world, you have my heart and break it too…

Also, it's a new school for Manya. Earlier this year she got selected for the Discovery program at the school district and while I was on the fence about whether or not she should enroll, Manya wanted to give it a try. All the best, love! You rock!

From the 1900s...

Manya and I were having some sort of an argument (nothing new there) earlier in the day on something totally non consequential when she goes:

“Mom you will not understand because that’s not how it was waaaaaaay back in the 80s”

Me: “what do you mean waaaaaay back”

M: you know like the last millennium, the last century - you were born in the 1900s right!

Me: okay, not really, let’s go back to referring to the time as 80s.

And now I am sitting here and thinking - we were the young teenagers that heralded the Y2K. Remember? This millennium was supposed to be ours but by the time we could make any sense of it we are like already touching 40s. Anything recent in memory is already 20 years ago!!I feel cheated!

Bringing up kids in a racially diverse community...

This article reminded me of the time my daughter thought she couldn’t be a princess and wished she too had blue eyes, blonde hair, and fair skin. Oh how far we have come from there...

We as adults think race is not an age appropriate topic to discuss with kids, surely not preschoolers - but that’s not true. Kids see color - it’s only us adults who are great at pretending that we are blind to it.

It is important to discuss color and race and differences as the conversations organically come up - to brush away our children’s observations as “oh no we are all the same” is not right. Understand the context they are coming from, acknowledge how race and color can affect relationships and reactions in the real world, and then assert that that is not right. Educate them about the science - melanin duh! Based on their age, talk about the economics of race.

And very importantly, tell them stories and history of their own culture - let them see not just the oppression but the success stories - the heroes and the heroines from everywhere.

And finally teach them love and kindness and acceptance for all - we are raising our children in a shrinking world - they are going to show us how to embrace and celebrate differences and thrive because of them, not inspite of them.

Isn't white a color?

The other day, my 8 year old asked me why Kamala Harris was considered the first person of color to be the US Vice President - surely there were other people before her and what if they were white - Wasn't white a color - like black, and brown and yellow?

That was a difficult question - Why do we use the phrase people of color for non whites? Isn't white a color? 

This conversation inspired the poem here. 

Hope for 2021

Manya: Mom, once all this COVID is behind us, my arms are going to be so tired and sore.

Me: Arms? Why?

Manya: Because I will be hugging everyone!

Here's hoping for a year with more hugs and less bugs. Happy New Year! 

Milestone Update - 8

 At 8, M is impossible :). But more here:

- She is tallish for her age - no longer tiny weight wise - she matches up at her height percentile and that is huge!

- She has lost 2 more baby teeth this year (totalling 4 till date).

- She no longer believes in magic, fairies, santa etc etc. She's, at most times, a ruthless pragmatic typhoon on steroids - go figure!

- She's going thru an intense politics phase! 

- Loves her piano - we are onto our second year of lessons!

- Thanks to COVID we have stopped swimming - physical games and exercising is something Manya does only because she must ;) She blames lack of comapny - I blame lack of will!

- She is strong willed and opinionated - we have our more than fair share of tiffs but makeup is mosly quick with snuggles and cuddles and kisses - While I keep hoping the first part becomes better- I pray the latter never changes!

- She loves travelling and like her parents has a never ending list of places she simply must visit.

- She continues to be a reader! Reads a wide variety too! We still continue our bedtime mom and daughte reading and it is one of the more special moments of our day - I really wish we both continue this forever :)

- She loves her gadgets - though thanks to online schooling - she is not as much into electronics over the weekends - she has developed interests in coding, pencil sketching, sewing.

- Earlier this year, she gave her room a complete makeover - the barbie dream house, the kitchen, 90% of her soft toys, her doll closets, barbies, LOLs, play dressers etc etc all were thrown out - I am too old for this stuff mom! Her room now has mainly a four poster bed with a delicate blue canopy, a huge L shaped desk, her piano, a small bunk bed for her American Girl dolls , a few toys and some paraphernalia around all this. Much much easier to clean but I miss the stuffies that I had curated over the years! Sigh! She is also into puzzles, LEGOs, board games, card games etc.  

- The other big change has been clothing - she tries to copy my wardrobe many a times - has ordered two pair of jeans that are exactly like what I have. Has a cable knit sweater dress like mom. Likes more chic clothing compared to the pinks, purples, glitter and frills of the earlier years! 

She can't wait to grow up and I can wait a lot longer :)

Happy 8th, my sweetheart!

You have been calling 6th November as Manya Day since forever now. Works for us except that every day other than 6th has also become Manya Day for us ;).

I love how excited you get about your birthdays - I still do at my age. A party or not - we have the complete paraphernalia - balloons, flowers, decorations, cake, wrapped presents, handwritten cards - May you always find it in your heart to celebrate yourself and may you always be surrounded by people who love you and want to celebrate you for the amazing person you are. May you be worthy of their adulation and pride, always.

This time around your enthusiasm for your birthday was matched with the election fever that has caught you strong. When I look at you today, I cannot see the tiny baby we were blessed with 8 years ago - even though you did take over our lives like a storm even back then - there's so much more force and vitality to you. You are confident, strong, brave, and you move with a whirlwind pace. As you flit from one interest to another, one conversation to another, hurrying about - I want to just hold you and let time stand still. But that's the nature of time - it doesn't stop - it keeps flowing. 

I admire that you are a person who embraces varied interests and pursuits. You play with your dolls but also run amuck and go digging in the dirt and mud. You enjoy your girly giggles and gossips and can also talk politics and business when you need to. You pick a sewing needle with as much ease as a bleybade or a drone. You like your electronic gadgets but find time for your sketching pencils and paints and colors and paper and books too. Always remain like this - embrace all that you see and want - don't shut out worlds without experiencing them. There's always a fun adventure on the other side of everything. And most importantly - balance - it seems like an impossible concept to explain but I know you can feel it. Always remain connected to that voice. 

"Halfway to Sweet 16, Mom!" That is what you exclaimed today (after ofcourse asking who did Nevada go to!). It took me a while to even respond to that. How can that be right? 

My, you are 8! So do we say goodbye to the Sassy Sevens now? I asked you, in the spirit of alliteration, what would go with 8. "That's easy mom", you said. "Electrifying 8!" "Exquisite 8!" - Umm not exactly what I had in mind but well okay - that then till I find something more appropriate :p

We love you!!!

Election Day 2012 VS Election Day 2020

Time flies, and today I cannot think of a better picture to encapsulate the enormity of that phrase.

Election Day 2012 was on November 6th. In the wee hours of the morning, the feverish excitement of Election day was mirroring in our lives for entirely different reasons. We became parents to a feisty spirit. Manys was born. We couldn't be bothered who was winning or losing the presidenatial race in the US that day. We had made it to the other side. 

Cut to the present. Manya is soon turning 8 and election day fever has hit her the most I think. For the last couple of months, she has been literally breathing, eating, sleeping, talking, watching only politics. Infact some days she sounds pretty much like those late night TV show hosts. Stephen Colbert and SNL are her top favorite shows - even though we censor most of it. She has very firm opinions and has painstakingly watched every debate and most town halls. Even with her limited knowledge, she can give you lectures on electoral college, election issues, pandemic handling, suffering of small businesses, fracking, racism, etc etc. At this point she wants to study law and become a President some day. 

She completely cracked me up this Sunday, and I quote her, "Now that Halloween is over I don't know what to do - this election anxiety is getting to me - I hope the results are out soon.". Election anxiety? Like seriously? She is 7! She has been pacing up and down since yesterday as the results for various states started to be called in. She woke up at 4:45 and asked me on the status. I have been constantly telling her (because I am quite annoyed - we are beyond the amused point now) to take it easy and focus on her assignments - I mean not that her life is going to change whoever wins!!! 

But clearly, she cannot stay calm because Halloween happened, now Elections are underway; the Birthday comes where she turns 8 (can you imagine, mom!); then there's Diwali, followed by Thanksgiving. Christmas and New Year come next, and hopefully 2021 will bring with it the vaccine for COVID - and then she has to plan world travel - life cannot be easy for an almost 8 year old now, can it be?