Mom needs AI babies!

 M: So mom I was reading somewhere that sometime in the future AI would make it possible for you to choose characteristics of your baby - not just physical ones but how much intelligence, kindness, empathy etc etc

Me: yep, have read bits and pieces here and there myself - sounds scary to me honestly - controlling human life like that.

M: Well - so tell me how much intelligence would you give me if you could make that decision.

Me: I don’t know - I think I would opt out of coding you - I’d just let you be - because else what individuality is left.

M: Hmm, so in a world where every parent is giving that advantage to their kid, you will choose to not give me that advantage - so you choose to give me a disadvantage.

Me (forced to give this more thought at bedtime than I would like): Hmm you make a very interesting point.

M: even today when you can’t code me you still expose me to books, experiences - you take me to the doc, give me shots, lecture me…you dont really let me just be … so how do you decide what advantages to give me and what not.

Me: I am impressed by your ability to think so deep on this - you are right - If everybody is coding their kid to be super intelligent… would I be pressurized to do the same - perhaps … but to what extent - what are we making then - human kids or robots … at that time I don’t know how my thinking will be influenced - it’s too hypothetical at this point anyways.

M: right - nobody has the right answers to everything. We ourselves don’t always know what’s best all the time.

Me: true…

M: that’s why you have to be patient - and not have so many expectations

Me (totally taken aback with the change in course of the conversation): what do you mean? I have minimum expectations…

M: well that’s what you think - I cant go to school, be regular with work, be well behaved, aaannnnd also keep my room clean.

Me (fast catching on and quite annoyed): Manya it’s Sunday night and you haven’t cleaned you room have you. You cant find a few minutes once a week to tidy up?

M: mom you should have waited to have a kid till AI makes it possible to code your babies.

Me: that is so unfair!

M smirks. and I tell her it’s too late now anyways to change those decisions so might as well clean up. She sighs loudly and makes it clear that she disapproves. I don’t care - I’ll take anything - as long as that room is tidied up. Phew…

We are 10!

 Hello double digits. 

- We are 10 and we know it all. 

- Mom and Dad are no longer cool. 

- Friendships run strong.

- Other things not cool: Pink, Glitter, Frills

- What is very cool: Anime, Black - all shades of black :D, and all things Kawaii!

- Dream destination: Japan - because anime, duh!

- Roblox is the new Minecraft. 

- We stand tall and can't wait to surpass mom's height.

- Best co-traveller ever. Loves new experiences.

- A bit of that teenage whiny noise finds it's way and mom shuts it down immediately. 

- Overwhelming emotions sometimes - mostly when asked to clean the room.

- Horseriding, coding, gymnastics, swimming, piano - we do it all. Slave driver. Mom's the slave :D.

- We are still cuddly and snuggly but mostly at bedtime and in the morning. Any other time love yous or kisses are exchanged, mom's just sappy.

- We love writing fiction! Oh I am so proud of her writing. The genre is usually horror or something but the vocabulary and the plot complexities promise to keep you hooked!

- Fits into mom's shoes, steals mom's clothing even. 

Can't wait to see what the decade brings. Actually, scratch that, can wait :)

First sleepover!

We have been talking about sleepovers for sometime now - but no real plans had materialized - until yesterday!

Miss M got invited over for a sleepover at one of her bestie's place with another friend - so the three of them. And there didn't seem to be a reason to say no. The girls have been friends for a while - we know the families - a couple a of streets away - it was time to let go a little more...

And so we had another of a big big first - first sleep over with friends, first night away from mommy, mommy's first night away from baby - but it all went over so well. My one and only criteria was that we should know the family and since that box was checked I had no fear in my heart.

Manya came back today with a huge grin and heave eyes - ofcourse they had hardly slept. But it had been super fun for them and she dropped dead in bed at 5pm :).

Foot note: Mommy also survived her first night away quite well - Vish and I hit a local pub, watched a movie at home and had icecream in bed - something we have not done in forever :).

First day of Fourth Grade

 First day of fourth grade. And here’s how sassy and grown up we have become…

We do our customary pictures.

M: Mom these pictures are great for your records and posterity but can you not post them on any social media. Thank you.

Me: Umm okay but just so you know I have a secure account and share only with added friends.

M: That’s okay but you do know nothing is really safe once it’s out there somewhere. Didn’t you tell me the other day that even what I send on email remains somewhere for ever. And anyways it’s not even that - I just don’t want my pictures on your social media.

Me (sheepishly): Yeah sure, whatever. I respect your wishes. Will not post.

M: Also, let me know what you want for your birthday or i can take you out. My budget is very limited though.

Me: Noted. Thank you.

Phew. She is getting too big for her boots and already fits into my shoes. And no, I did not seek permission from her to post this conversation.

Happy first day of school to us!

Boys are good too!

 After school today…

Me: what’s new at school?

M: do you know what boy-a did today?

Me: no idea

M: he snapped his fingers at the teacher

Me: oh that wasn’t nice at all

M: no, but see that’s the thing with boys - they are not thinking

Me: uhuh

M: boy-a is not a bad guy but he just did it. Also did you know he has a crush on girl-a and everybody knows because he clearly needs help - but girl-a doesn’t know

Me: well that’s pointless he should just tell her - why this big drama

M: you don’t understand mom - he can’t just tell her - that’s a big step to take on your own.

Me: well it doesn’t matter either ways - I mean what’s a crush anyway / it’s like you like one person more than the others - what else!

M: yeah but eventually you might date then and end up marrying them - it all starts with a crush

Me: that’s nonsense - between crush and marriage lies an eternity - and nothing’s certain - people change, feelings change.

M: that’s true and anyways it’s does not seem very wise to marry the first crush you have ..

Me: truer words of wisdom have not been spoken

M: i don’t even know if I’ll ever end up marrying you know

Me: well time will tell..

M: yep but it seems difficult - I mean in my experience only one-third of the boys are really sensible you know. What do you think is the ratio?

Me: no that sounds about right..but let’s not get into this generic boy bashing - I mean talking of generalizations there might be some great things about boys.

M: ofcourse - the best thing about boys is that they are very simple - they don’t think much - they fight, they make up, they move on - it’s not like they say something and mean something else - it’s pretty straightforward - you know like baboons - I love that about boys

Whatever ounce of self control I had was lost with that comment - and I had to excuse myself to laugh in private because this was a very sincere conversation and I didn’t want her to feel I was condescending in any which way - It’s just that I don’t remember being so insightful in 3rd Grade!

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Last of the single digit birthdays!

 She is nine!

At home celebrations again this year - as everybody continues to mask.

- She is growing and every now and then I observe the baby face fading away. Tall but very huggable still :).

- Lot of missing teeth - finally!

- She's doing very well in school - Has joined the high capability - Discovery program at school and is acing it. Loves to read and write. Her writing has just flourished - her vocabulary, complexity of thought and emotion portrayed just blows me away! So very proud of her.

- Wanted a black bike with gears for her birthday - Though she still loves the occassional dresses, I can see the pink and glittler moving into oblivion on most days. Has her own sense of style - for some reason she loves sunglasses :). Still kinda likes jewellery and accessories.

- Minecraft has been big this year. Lot of online gaming with friends. It can be very educational mom, she tells me. Oh well, we know how that goes!

- Restarted swim after the pandemic break, piano doing great. Two big new additions this year - horseback riding and gymnastics!

- I see the obsession with politics easing off as the election madness has died down.

- Guess who is the new selfie queen in the house? My phone and ipad are filled with tonnes of selfies she's been taking! It's very very amusing.

Can't believe we are at the end of the single digits already!

Back to In-Person Learning

 Grade 3: First day of in-person learning in forever.

Echo what a friend remarked, it’s like sending these kids to war or something. Masked, armed with sanitizer, and instructions to keep a safe distance and follow directions at all times!

Oh this world, you have my heart and break it too…

Also, it's a new school for Manya. Earlier this year she got selected for the Discovery program at the school district and while I was on the fence about whether or not she should enroll, Manya wanted to give it a try. All the best, love! You rock!

From the 1900s...

Manya and I were having some sort of an argument (nothing new there) earlier in the day on something totally non consequential when she goes:

“Mom you will not understand because that’s not how it was waaaaaaay back in the 80s”

Me: “what do you mean waaaaaay back”

M: you know like the last millennium, the last century - you were born in the 1900s right!

Me: okay, not really, let’s go back to referring to the time as 80s.

And now I am sitting here and thinking - we were the young teenagers that heralded the Y2K. Remember? This millennium was supposed to be ours but by the time we could make any sense of it we are like already touching 40s. Anything recent in memory is already 20 years ago!!I feel cheated!

Bringing up kids in a racially diverse community...

This article reminded me of the time my daughter thought she couldn’t be a princess and wished she too had blue eyes, blonde hair, and fair skin. Oh how far we have come from there...

We as adults think race is not an age appropriate topic to discuss with kids, surely not preschoolers - but that’s not true. Kids see color - it’s only us adults who are great at pretending that we are blind to it.

It is important to discuss color and race and differences as the conversations organically come up - to brush away our children’s observations as “oh no we are all the same” is not right. Understand the context they are coming from, acknowledge how race and color can affect relationships and reactions in the real world, and then assert that that is not right. Educate them about the science - melanin duh! Based on their age, talk about the economics of race.

And very importantly, tell them stories and history of their own culture - let them see not just the oppression but the success stories - the heroes and the heroines from everywhere.

And finally teach them love and kindness and acceptance for all - we are raising our children in a shrinking world - they are going to show us how to embrace and celebrate differences and thrive because of them, not inspite of them.

Isn't white a color?

The other day, my 8 year old asked me why Kamala Harris was considered the first person of color to be the US Vice President - surely there were other people before her and what if they were white - Wasn't white a color - like black, and brown and yellow?

That was a difficult question - Why do we use the phrase people of color for non whites? Isn't white a color? 

This conversation inspired the poem here.