Bringing up kids in a racially diverse community...

This article reminded me of the time my daughter thought she couldn’t be a princess and wished she too had blue eyes, blonde hair, and fair skin. Oh how far we have come from there...

We as adults think race is not an age appropriate topic to discuss with kids, surely not preschoolers - but that’s not true. Kids see color - it’s only us adults who are great at pretending that we are blind to it.

It is important to discuss color and race and differences as the conversations organically come up - to brush away our children’s observations as “oh no we are all the same” is not right. Understand the context they are coming from, acknowledge how race and color can affect relationships and reactions in the real world, and then assert that that is not right. Educate them about the science - melanin duh! Based on their age, talk about the economics of race.

And very importantly, tell them stories and history of their own culture - let them see not just the oppression but the success stories - the heroes and the heroines from everywhere.

And finally teach them love and kindness and acceptance for all - we are raising our children in a shrinking world - they are going to show us how to embrace and celebrate differences and thrive because of them, not inspite of them.

Isn't white a color?

The other day, my 8 year old asked me why Kamala Harris was considered the first person of color to be the US Vice President - surely there were other people before her and what if they were white - Wasn't white a color - like black, and brown and yellow?

That was a difficult question - Why do we use the phrase people of color for non whites? Isn't white a color? 

This conversation inspired the poem here. 

Hope for 2021

Manya: Mom, once all this COVID is behind us, my arms are going to be so tired and sore.

Me: Arms? Why?

Manya: Because I will be hugging everyone!

Here's hoping for a year with more hugs and less bugs. Happy New Year! 

Milestone Update - 8

 At 8, M is impossible :). But more here:

- She is tallish for her age - no longer tiny weight wise - she matches up at her height percentile and that is huge!

- She has lost 2 more baby teeth this year (totalling 4 till date).

- She no longer believes in magic, fairies, santa etc etc. She's, at most times, a ruthless pragmatic typhoon on steroids - go figure!

- She's going thru an intense politics phase! 

- Loves her piano - we are onto our second year of lessons!

- Thanks to COVID we have stopped swimming - physical games and exercising is something Manya does only because she must ;) She blames lack of comapny - I blame lack of will!

- She is strong willed and opinionated - we have our more than fair share of tiffs but makeup is mosly quick with snuggles and cuddles and kisses - While I keep hoping the first part becomes better- I pray the latter never changes!

- She loves travelling and like her parents has a never ending list of places she simply must visit.

- She continues to be a reader! Reads a wide variety too! We still continue our bedtime mom and daughte reading and it is one of the more special moments of our day - I really wish we both continue this forever :)

- She loves her gadgets - though thanks to online schooling - she is not as much into electronics over the weekends - she has developed interests in coding, pencil sketching, sewing.

- Earlier this year, she gave her room a complete makeover - the barbie dream house, the kitchen, 90% of her soft toys, her doll closets, barbies, LOLs, play dressers etc etc all were thrown out - I am too old for this stuff mom! Her room now has mainly a four poster bed with a delicate blue canopy, a huge L shaped desk, her piano, a small bunk bed for her American Girl dolls , a few toys and some paraphernalia around all this. Much much easier to clean but I miss the stuffies that I had curated over the years! Sigh! She is also into puzzles, LEGOs, board games, card games etc.  

- The other big change has been clothing - she tries to copy my wardrobe many a times - has ordered two pair of jeans that are exactly like what I have. Has a cable knit sweater dress like mom. Likes more chic clothing compared to the pinks, purples, glitter and frills of the earlier years! 

She can't wait to grow up and I can wait a lot longer :)

Happy 8th, my sweetheart!

You have been calling 6th November as Manya Day since forever now. Works for us except that every day other than 6th has also become Manya Day for us ;).

I love how excited you get about your birthdays - I still do at my age. A party or not - we have the complete paraphernalia - balloons, flowers, decorations, cake, wrapped presents, handwritten cards - May you always find it in your heart to celebrate yourself and may you always be surrounded by people who love you and want to celebrate you for the amazing person you are. May you be worthy of their adulation and pride, always.

This time around your enthusiasm for your birthday was matched with the election fever that has caught you strong. When I look at you today, I cannot see the tiny baby we were blessed with 8 years ago - even though you did take over our lives like a storm even back then - there's so much more force and vitality to you. You are confident, strong, brave, and you move with a whirlwind pace. As you flit from one interest to another, one conversation to another, hurrying about - I want to just hold you and let time stand still. But that's the nature of time - it doesn't stop - it keeps flowing. 

I admire that you are a person who embraces varied interests and pursuits. You play with your dolls but also run amuck and go digging in the dirt and mud. You enjoy your girly giggles and gossips and can also talk politics and business when you need to. You pick a sewing needle with as much ease as a bleybade or a drone. You like your electronic gadgets but find time for your sketching pencils and paints and colors and paper and books too. Always remain like this - embrace all that you see and want - don't shut out worlds without experiencing them. There's always a fun adventure on the other side of everything. And most importantly - balance - it seems like an impossible concept to explain but I know you can feel it. Always remain connected to that voice. 

"Halfway to Sweet 16, Mom!" That is what you exclaimed today (after ofcourse asking who did Nevada go to!). It took me a while to even respond to that. How can that be right? 

My, you are 8! So do we say goodbye to the Sassy Sevens now? I asked you, in the spirit of alliteration, what would go with 8. "That's easy mom", you said. "Electrifying 8!" "Exquisite 8!" - Umm not exactly what I had in mind but well okay - that then till I find something more appropriate :p

We love you!!!

Election Day 2012 VS Election Day 2020

Time flies, and today I cannot think of a better picture to encapsulate the enormity of that phrase.

Election Day 2012 was on November 6th. In the wee hours of the morning, the feverish excitement of Election day was mirroring in our lives for entirely different reasons. We became parents to a feisty spirit. Manys was born. We couldn't be bothered who was winning or losing the presidenatial race in the US that day. We had made it to the other side. 

Cut to the present. Manya is soon turning 8 and election day fever has hit her the most I think. For the last couple of months, she has been literally breathing, eating, sleeping, talking, watching only politics. Infact some days she sounds pretty much like those late night TV show hosts. Stephen Colbert and SNL are her top favorite shows - even though we censor most of it. She has very firm opinions and has painstakingly watched every debate and most town halls. Even with her limited knowledge, she can give you lectures on electoral college, election issues, pandemic handling, suffering of small businesses, fracking, racism, etc etc. At this point she wants to study law and become a President some day. 

She completely cracked me up this Sunday, and I quote her, "Now that Halloween is over I don't know what to do - this election anxiety is getting to me - I hope the results are out soon.". Election anxiety? Like seriously? She is 7! She has been pacing up and down since yesterday as the results for various states started to be called in. She woke up at 4:45 and asked me on the status. I have been constantly telling her (because I am quite annoyed - we are beyond the amused point now) to take it easy and focus on her assignments - I mean not that her life is going to change whoever wins!!! 

But clearly, she cannot stay calm because Halloween happened, now Elections are underway; the Birthday comes where she turns 8 (can you imagine, mom!); then there's Diwali, followed by Thanksgiving. Christmas and New Year come next, and hopefully 2021 will bring with it the vaccine for COVID - and then she has to plan world travel - life cannot be easy for an almost 8 year old now, can it be?

Halloween this year...

For those who have been following this blog or know Manya - they would know Halloween for Manya is big! She loves everything about this festival - the origins of which are widely debated - but hey good food, decoratons, fun and candy - we'll take it!

This year she has chosen to be a vampire - all with fake fangs, and black lipstick et al. There is going to be no trick or treating - thank you, COVID. But we might do a drive thru event organized by the city.

A big addition to this year's festivities have been our themed family movie nights! While most movies in this house go well as long as there is popcorn, we have had a few favorites. M rejected the classic - The Nightmare Before Christmas - "too sing-songy, Mom!" Halloweentown was okayish. She (and we) thoroughly enjoyed Hotel Transylvania - we plan to wrap the month up with Hocus Pocus. 

Wonder how life would be in this pandemic without online streaming!

I also must mention our mommy-daughter read for the month - The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. The book is engrossing and since this is my first time too with the book - it has been delightful. Highly recommended by us especially this month!

Package Detective

We have a bit of a problem in this house. Miss M pounces on any and every package delivery - she runs to the door, grabs it before we even realize what is happening, and rips it open. If I am able to sneak in a package without her noticing, she will, on one of her rounds of the house, sniff it out from any hiding spot possible. With her at home all the time, this basically means we have not been able to keep any surprises for her upcoming birthday.

Finally, the other day I told her that she can receive a package but cannot open it without permission unless it is addressed specifically to her. But what do they say about curiosity and cats? She now goes through these elaborate shenanigans to guess what's inside. "Mommy, one more clue please?"

The heartbreak that is (not having) pets!

I think ever since Manya saw a dog for the first time (sometime during her first walks around the neighborhood in VA when she was about15-16 months), she has been in love. I remember distinctly - how instictively she hugged that dog - her first time seeing a real dog - maybe she thought it was one of her own stuffies but the dog's movement etc did not bother her. It was such an aww moment. But. We. Are. Not. Dog (Pet). People. It is what it is. 

We have had fish off and on but they do tend to die on us after a while. For the last many years Manya has been begging for a dog or a cat - but more a dog. It doesn't help that almost every person we know or meet owns one if not more. In the last couple of years, we have been having honest conversations with her....

... Pets are expensive. They need coonstant care. They don't understand. They don't really grow up. What happens when we have to go on our long vacations (Manya loves travelling) - the pet just feels abandoned - dog care adds up quickly. You cannot make plans on the fly etc etc. Mommy hates cleaning poop. She understands and appreciates all of this but still thinks it would be awesome to have one.- and I agree too. I love dogs and the idea of pets is great but I am not committed to the work involved. 

Anyways, for the longest time we had been on the lookout for some realistic robotic pets that could offer some kind of a substitute. And we have found a pretty decent on. There's this company called Joy for All that makes very good cats (the dogs don't make the cut) - they call them companion pets. Check the website out here...https://joyforall.com/products/companion-cats?variant=10404273455147

This orange tabby cat has brought a lot of joy to Manya and she has named her Beatrice. A related post here.

(P.S. This is not a sponsored post.)

Online Learning vs. In-Person Parenting

 #Lingo2020 #ZoomLives #OnlineLearning #InPersonParenting

Our soon-to-be-8-but-going-on-18-with-all-that-sass daughter saunters down the stairs this morning...

Me: Hey Manya, good morning, you slept in today. Well what do you want for breakfast and then you can get on with your work day.

Her: Mom, At this point I only have my video on. Audio is not connected. Can you repeat that later when the network is better?

....

Well I never! This is a new format of disobedience in this house. And I am yet to figure out a good comeback - after all learning might be online but parenting is still in-person!

I am thinking more on the line of when I am called for, I should just say, "You are in the waiting room. The host will let you in when it is convenient."